In to feel guilty about leaving my family?

77% Normal
3 Comments

I am 21 and in my last semester of uni, I'm graduating in July. The thing is these past few years while tackling my undergrad I've been leaving at home basically I never moved out, and after I graduate I plan on doing my honours but the thing is I want to do it at a uni outside of this country and just the thought of leaving my family makes me feel like a bad person.

My mum and dad have a horrible marriage. My dad is an alcoholic and an unfaithful husband and he used to beat my mother up and it was always me who had to intervene and stop these fights then mum got a restraining order and he stopped beating her but they still live under the same roof. These days he is verbally abusive and I can't stand him.

I have an older brother who is 24 and he likes his drink and I fear he might be slowly following dads footsteps but besides that my brother is my rock, my bestfriend and he never got the same opportunities I had, going to uni etc , he just finished his O levels and went straight to work and that is the same job he has had since he was 17 and it pains me because he is not leaving up to his potential.

Then there is my mum who loves me so much and I love her too and has stood by me for the past 8 years through out my struggle with anorexia and bulimia. I suspect my mum is HIV positive, she must caught it from my dad who is.a serial cheater. I love her no matter what but a part of me resents her for sleeping with my dad I.know they are married and that she says she stayed in the marriage for us her kids

My question to you all is How do leave my mum here and go to a uni in another country. If she is sick I have to take of her like she did for me when I was struggling with eating disorders. How do I leave my brother? I feel like I'mbeing selfish he never got the chance to go to uni but here I am almost finished with my undergrad with& thinking of leaving home to continue my education while pumping out my mother's money, wanting more & more & more What do I do?

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77% Normal
Based on 43 votes (33 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • seeking
    11 years ago

    That is tough and I give you many props. The fact that your brother didn't have the same opportunity that you did wasn't your fault. You make the best of what life throws at you. As for your parents, I am really sorry. Your mom needs help but profesional help. You have been there for her but there is only so much you can do for her. She loves you and I am sure she wants the best for you. You need to take this opportunity for you and for your future. As a mother, I pray to god that I live long enough to see my kids grow up and be independent. Praying that all works out and best of luck to you.

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  • Donna1990
    11 years ago

    If your mother says she only stayed for you kids then maybe she will leave your dad soon after you kids leave if your brother is still at home then you need to be the one to make the first move.
    You need to live your life for yourself not for your mother it would be selfish of your mother to want you to stay for her as a mother she should want you to go out into the world and make a good life for yourself.
    Best of luck to you.

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  • Gravy
    11 years ago

    I haven't read all your post, but I get the jist and think your at an important crossroads that will share the rest of your life. Life about choices. Your mother has made hers, now you have to make yours. It's your life and your not responsible for the mistakes of your parents. It maybe honorable, but if you don't make the best out of your opportunities you are wasting your 1 short precious life.

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