In love with my step daughter.

32% Normal
21 Comments

My wife & I adopted Emily when she was 10, and we've treasured her ever since.

But since the time my wife died 6 years ago, Em has been the only happiness & support in my life and Though I know it is wrong, I've been in love with her ever since her 20th birthday. I do not know if it's due to her resemblance to my wife or the fact that we spent so much time together over the past few years. But I am completely lost in what to do? I feel both disgusted and pitiful of myself but she also is the only light I can see.

I've tried therapy and it didn't work.

I hate it every time she hugs or kisses me, because I feel terrible that I like it.

Voting Results
32% Normal
Based on 37 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • Aries
    8 years ago

    I am sorry to hear about your wife but I can see you getting a lot of flack for these emotions especially since you adopted her as your daughter and she wasn't just someone you were helping out . I think most would expect you to keep your feelings to a father / daughter guideline ... especially raising her from so young it seems a little strange but humans and what goes on inside us isn't always within our full control or understanding but we can always work on it . What does your therapist think of this? have you shared? it may even be considered incest since , legally she is your daughter even if the DNA isn't there.. not sure how that works .

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      My therapist said I was projecting my longing for my wife onto my daughter, and that it was natural to do so for someone in my situation. But was completely useless in providing tools to help me with this.

      I have a hard time being with my daughter due to this, and she's picked up on something being wrong, which has just made the situation more difficult, because she's been spending more time with me as a result.

      I feel like a wreck and the worst I get, the more she cares for me.

      last night when she put me to bed I started crying, luckily she wasn't awake to see it.

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      • [Old Memory]
        8 years ago

        You are a very sick person. You have an obligation to your daughter to be a father figure not to be "in love" with her.

        Your therapist needs to be replaced if she/he is not very alarmed from your admissions.

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        • umph
          8 years ago

          They are not in any way related.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            8 years ago

            But I did raise her, so it still feels wrong, even though the feelings are strong.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          I know I'm ill, and I agree with you, I've been to 5 different doctors and they all give me sound yet different advice, none of which worked.

          I've tried everything from distancing myself to treating her as a daughter and spending more time with her.

          I've tried going on dates, I even tried hypnosis, but the guy wasn't certified and was of no help.

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          • [Old Memory]
            8 years ago

            I wouldn't know what else to tell you to do. At the very least you are being honest here. Jesus, I don't know what to tell you. You can't tell her what you're thinking, the therapists are giving you shit advice.

            Can you at least TRY to just be a father?

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              I have been trying to, and she's very happy, we have been spending a lot of time together lately, and she refuses to let me be alone, always trying to take care of me, but that just makes every moment painful yet sweet, I love every moment with her but whenever I look at her I can't stop having thoughts which singe my soul. It's a terrible feeling being conscious of the inappropriacy of my thoughts and base desires.

              Sometimes I feel, like it would be better just to give in to them, but then my conscious kicks in again, and I spend the entire time self loathing.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    You and Woody Allen. And look at how well that worked out for him.

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  • Wildberries45
    8 years ago

    Troll!!!

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  • hokisgurl
    8 years ago

    I think you need to find a hobby or a project like something You always wanted to do but never found the time i think that could help with your mourning and longing for your wife and not project those feelings onto your daughter

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  • noid
    8 years ago

    Do you have friends you can spend more time with? That would help get your mind off her and get her out of the unhealthy role of "taking care of you."

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I can try, but that only temporarily alleviates the symptoms, the problem is still there when I see her again.

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  • umph
    8 years ago

    She is NOT your REAL daughter.
    She is an adult, completely unrelated to you.

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    • noid
      8 years ago

      But to her he's her dad.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Even though we aren't blood, I have treated her as my daughter all this time, even though I may have started seeing her in a different way, I'm not sure my newer feelings are acceptable.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      But it still feels wrong!

      I've tried entertaining that way of thinking, but something(the memory of raising her) prevents me from doing so.

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  • LadyEliza
    8 years ago

    By the way, are you a fan of Woody Allen?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Kinda, saw some of his work, found it entertaining.

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