Image(s) in my head

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Alright, so the whole thing is gonna sound fairly unusual (in my opinion).

About 2 or 3 months ago, i was fairly hooked on internet pornography. I tried my best to stop cold turkey, but i seemed to relapse back into it after (at most) about a week. During that time period, i watched something (among other things) which i came to strongly regret later (and still do)-- actual.. sex.. between a guy and girl.. and now that sh*t is stuck in my head and i want to do something about it to get it out.. Even when when my head's 'camera lense' (so to speak) doesn't pan back to what i saw, it still feels like it's (obviously) there- like there's literally something inside my head which shouldn't be there. What should i do? I'm rather worried that this mistake, committed out of sheer idiocy and lack of restraint, is completely unfixable, and i'll be stuck with this sh*t in my head for the rest of my life.. Perhaps somewhat intriguing about this (and i'm not using the term positively) is that i sometimes kinda feel that this crap in my head has compromised my ability to enjoy music (because all prior enjoyment was the result of a mental fixation (and imagining) of the unknown, which in my case was sex since i never witnessed it)?
Anyway, in short, every time i listen to some music, it seems that the image pops back into my conscious awareness and this somehow takes away from the intangible, hard-to-describe nature of whatever that i'm listening to and therefore takes away from enjoyment as a whole (i know it porbably sounds kinda complicated).

Thoughts? I'd appreciate some feedback.

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Comments ( 4 )
  • peterr2
    8 years ago

    You should start sucking cocks. You sound like a cocksucker to me.

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  • TheGasManCometh
    12 years ago

    It shouldn't be such a big deal to you that you've seen a guy and a girl get in on - why should you see it as a vile memory to be repressed (which you obviously can't do)?

    Stay off the porn, completely or as much as possible. Control your imagination.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    13 years ago

    Your response didn't make a lick of sense- especially the first part which i interpreted as condescendinig and smug horseshit- totally inadequate in its context. Sounds like you're the one in need of professional help, you know, the one for hedonistic personality disorder and malignant narcissism. please go for your sake, i worry about you

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  • MESOMIKE
    13 years ago

    First, I try to ALWAYS consider the situation carefully before I comment: Sometimes I'm abrupt. Other times, I'm very nurturing. Sometimes I'm a bit vulgar, depending on the situation.

    For you: A paradox that you would be "addicted" to internet porn (meaning you do it against your will), then get the image of intercourse in your head and respond to it in such strange ways. You truly ( not to sound generic ) are a poster-child for someone in need of professional help. Seek such for your own sanity.

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