Im pregnant and my husband doesnt seem excited

43% Normal
26 Comments

Im pregnant with my second child. And recently found out we're having a girl. Im so happy and i get so excited when i feel her moving, but my husband on the other hand has pushed hisself away from me. I dont know if it's because im bigger..it makes me feel bad because i need his support and i want him to be just as happy about our new baby as i am. It's hard being emotional and all,feeling alone. I feel like he's not attracted to me and like he's not happy about our baby. I LOVE to feel her move and i talk to her and rub her..and when i feel her move ill tell him and he'll sometimes put his hand to feel or he'll just be like oh she'll move again another time. Is it because she's a girl? I dont get it. It's a special time for me and i just feel alone..my first pregnancy was bad, we had all sorts of problems and we seperated, the least he could do is make it better this time now that we're together. I shouldnt feel this alone,especially when he put his part when he was MAKING that baby. grrr is this normal??

Voting Results
43% Normal
Based on 210 votes (90 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 26 )
  • RyanCORBITT
    13 years ago

    I got my dog pregnant and im pretty excited

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
      -
    • chewy
      13 years ago

      thats not possible

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • YOURaFREAK
    13 years ago

    Heres how i see it!
    Im a male without a child, planning on having on though!
    In my opinion i think that the husband should pretend to be excited even if hes not! To pretend to be fascinated with that little baby kicking and squirming! It means a whole lot to the woman!
    When my mom was pregnant with my little brother i pretended to be the most excited person in the world and i could see it meant alot to her espescially since my dad was a full time drunk and never treated my mother with the respect she deserved! So yes i think youre husband is being rather selfish! If pretending to be excited would put a smile on her face then why not? Make the woman you're supposed to be in love with the most feel good! I loved making my mom feel good making it known that i loved her so much and so much and if it took 5 seconds out of my life to touch her belly and feel a kick to light her face up i would do it! and i agree with you williams though you come off as being ignorant with your cursing and your arguments! love youre wife, and she will love you back!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
  • summerleah
    13 years ago

    Ok first off it's normal. I'm pregnant now with our second daughter and my hubby isn't all over me or seems excited it's normal!!! He doesn't understand bc he's never been pregnant!but he is a great father!!! As soon as he saw our first he fell in love! They say a women becomes a mother when she first learns she is expecting but a man doesn't become a father untill he holds his baby. I wouldn't wry to much. Now if he is a bad father or something that would be different. You are just being hormonal

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
  • pambambam
    10 years ago

    Sounds like you too shouldn't be together in the first place. Why did you have another child with him?!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • An0nym0us9001
    13 years ago

    ^This.
    And with the way the world is (Economy, schools, drugs, Government etc etc.) why bring an innocent child into this hell hole place.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • amberinboston
    14 years ago

    Your husband sounds like a jerk. I'm sorry. My ex husband did the same thing. He never wanted my first child, and when I got pregnant with baby # 2, he went and had a vasectomy and told me it would never happen again. Needless to say, I'm divorced.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Galaxy500
    14 years ago

    Can I just say that adult problems are soooo different than teenage problems.... you'll see.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Galaxy500
    14 years ago

    a) already I can see there is a number of reasons behind his reaction i.e. previous baby problems b) this is both of y'alls baby (congratulations), but if he's not as excited as you I'd let it slide because forcing him to be happy like you're happy is going to come off as nagging and, ultimately, continues to make him not want to participate. Be confident and happy by yourself, without him. He'll start to notice you're off his back and, will almost presumably, come around. Maybe not after a couple of days or weeks, but he'll come around. Hang in there, kitty! :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • williams
    14 years ago

    No it's not normal! Your husband is a idiot. Love is everything but your situation and your emotions about yourself is really sad...and part of that is because hes making you feel low and depressed when thats your so called "husband". I'm going to tell you straight up...Any dude that is serious about you would never in his LIFE make you feel that way...especially when your PREGNANT. It wouldn't even cross his mind. He never would hurt you in any way shape or form. He doesn't seem like he's excited for the baby either and thats just sad. If he really cared he'd be all over your stomach, talking to the baby,comforting you, buying stuff for no reason and you know just doing extra stuff to show he's preparing,happy/nervous and excited for you and the baby. A REAL man is supposed to be there for you ALWAYS and love you ALWAYS...he might have put his part in making the baby...honestly if he was a real man..He would be responsible for his actions and inactions. He inactions are breaking you down and you shouldn't be with somebody like that. Every man on this earth should know that it only takes ONE time and every time you better be ready for what is to come. He has no excuse. I think you should move on and find someone who doesn't play games and treats you like the queen that every single woman on the earth is!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Galaxy500
      14 years ago

      omg and where do you live? It's so sad how there's men like yourself (real men in my opinion) and then there are douchebag assholes out there that call themselve "the man's man" and act all macho all the time. I need advice in the macho man realm, but I think you gave good advice.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • williams
        14 years ago

        Galaxy500 im not a man! LMAO. I'm a girl. A teenager to add to it. I'm a realist so ya i say whats on my mind and whats REAL. I get on people about stuff that they don't realize or take the time to realize. ppl needa put they brains to work man i tell ya..sorry im not that "man" you thought i was hahahaha

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        -1
        -1
          -
        • Galaxy500
          14 years ago

          sorry I didn't look at the name as a last name for some reason or another. Well, then, let me just say that, in life, a lot of stuff happens that is not fair and, a lot of people expect fairness and equality, but that's not real. And, I wish men were more sensitive, but those types are rare.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          1
          1
    • tommy81
      14 years ago

      Oh lord where do I start...I'm sorry but that comment reeks of ignorance. First and foremost I don't know if anyone can give a true definition of what a "real man" is since it's a matter of opinion and nothing more. He just a man and he's real. A real man. The term is often thrown around in judgmental (and sometimes praising) rants and doesn't really describe anything. Lables don't impress me. You also seem to come across as the one appointed by the rest of humanity to oversee what a person should or shouldn't do. Everyone is different and has their own emotional issues to deal with. It almost seems like you expect perfection and no flaws whatsoever. You say:

      "If he really cared he'd be all over your stomach, talking to the baby,comforting you, buying stuff for no reason and you know just doing extra stuff to show he's preparing,happy/nervous and excited for you and the baby."

      Well how do you know what is in that persons mind? These are just things that you would expect someone to do in that situation. You even get detailed with what he should do. I don't recall any of the fathers I know being all over their wives stomachs rubbing it day and night while speaking to the fetus. Maybe once in a while. You even go on to describe what emotions he should be feeling. Are you the emotion police? Having a child is a wonderful thing but is it so huge that it demands extraordinary attention such as womb worship? Do you honestly have such disdain for a person that is simply being indifferent and distant? You also spit out the words "always" and "never" so much it makes my head spin. No one is going to always do or not do something. We must think within reason here. We are talking about a human being that is susceptible to lapses in judgment. No one is perfect and will "always" make the correct decisions or "always" conduct themselves in what some would consider the proper manner. Most of what you wrote is based on cognitive distortions. Focusing on the negative points and nothing else will result in no real solutions. Finally, your last point: "the queen that every single woman on the earth is!" Well, I'd have to say that's a little bit of an exaggeration. lol
      @ OP. Try talking to your significant other and see if he'll be open with you about what is going on. There's a host of different reasons that could be causing his behaviour. Depression could be one of them. I would strongly suggest couples therapy. Pregnancy doesn't always bring up the most wonderful feelings in some people even if you would like them to feel exactly like you do. They're a separate person and they're personality isn't a carbon copy of yours. You can work through it if you stay strong and really take the time to investigate what's behind the behaviour rather than focusing on how unpleasant he's being.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • doucebag69
        14 years ago

        I just wanted to congradulate you on a well thought out argument and tell you that your ability to debate like a rational human being is wasted here.
        womans thoughts on having a baby, happiness abounds.
        mans thoughts, well there goes my future.

        a comedian once said this "babies really are a miracle, with feet so small they can walk out of her womb and all over your dreams" - my dad once felt this way and honestly I can't blame him, I mean my existance really wrecked his life, which was already fairly wrecked to begin with, I was a little bundle of dream crushing joy :3

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
      • williams
        14 years ago

        yo tommy81 two words put the SHUT to the UP.
        haha
        because I-DONT-GIVE-A-FUCK!
        haha
        latterrr BRAAAA

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        -1
        -1
          -
        • tommy81
          14 years ago

          Hmmm...OK....Do you just naturally have a nasty disposition or do you just not like being told that you may have some fallacies in thinking? It's ok, I understand. I once didn't like it either. Hardly anyone does for most of us seem to think we have everything all figured out. Your reply to my comment didn't mount much of a defence of your ideals nor was it very tasteful. Perhaps it's because what you had wrote previously was based on emotions gone awry rather than well thought out rational ideas. I suppose you want your ideals left unchallenged so you go about your merry way and be 'right'.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          2
          2
  • Reshirina
    9 years ago

    It's normal plus if a guy wants to be that way cause he's throwing a tantrum so be it cause well that's how all guy's are at times if they try to get a boy in the family life but well he need's to man up and take care of this now but if he try's to break up with you best if you break up with him first cause it's the revers affect and sometimes it works and may want him to want you back.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • immortalchild15
    9 years ago

    I think you need to talk to him about this. If he's not excited about having a girl, thats fine, that reason is always understanding. but if theres another reason theres a likely possibility you need to leave each other

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • dennell5353
    12 years ago

    lol im prago right now and also feel like my boyfriend is not giving me the attention i want....it makes me feel kinda down that hes not as happy as i am so down that i dont even think i should be around him as much as i want to...like the other day we spent an hour together and then he sent me on my way home so he can go play golf...that was a slap in the face for me i also have a two year old girl and work on top of that have a mortgage to pay with back pains i know he may be stressed but so im i and now not sure what to do with him ....

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • ToriahnaChristine695
    13 years ago

    Sounds like a pedophile. Have u ever gotten his records checked?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    I'm the real man.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    Also, amberinboston, why didn't you smarten up after the first child when he didn't want that one?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    He probably didn't want another child. And I don't blame him. One is too many. Why would you need two? It's expensive raising a child.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • williams
    14 years ago

    This guy ^ he thinks he's all cool wants to start an argument & shit. tryna say stuff about me that not even true haha..i guess...whatever floots your boat Tommy boy whatever floats that boat.
    No duh Galaxy500.
    Anyyywaysss
    Lemme break it down riii quick really quick...
    Any fool can make a baby. Takes a MAN to raise one.
    Thats all i was trying to say. Men need take care of they business...Fuck what your going through you gotta baby on the way...act like they are worth it...basically. People needa stop bringing baby's in this world who aren't gonna be loved like they should be.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -1
    -1
      -
    • NothingxCrazy
      12 years ago

      You seem a bit paranoid.. a bit hostile.. and a bit intrusive. The point of comments are to give advice to the OP, not try to attack someone who opposes you.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1