Im jealous of my boyfriend's closeness with my girlfriends

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8 Comments

Hey,

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. Its been great so far. Hes been really nice to me and hes always making sure he keeps me in the loop with almost everything he's doing.

At the beginning of our relationship, his friends dint really accept me. I tried really hard to get to know them but never got very comfortable with them. Inspite of me attempting to get to know them and messaging them every now and then they never really tried to include me in the group and at that time it was really hard coz my boyfriend was all I had and it killed me that I couldnt be a part of his life in a big way since his friends were a very important part of his life and i hated feeling so left out.

well then i gave up and decided I should just have my own group of friends and I did. Initially my boyfriend just wanted me to hang out with them even though i tried to include him coz i guess even he felt it was healthy for our relationship if we did our own things sometimes. But now over the last month, my friends have gotten to know him better and they keep messaging him on facebook and msn. And one of my friends especially has gotten closer to him. they message each other on facebook a lot and pull each other's leg a lot and i feel left out of the loop.

I used to feel very jealous when this happened with him and the girls he used to meet and befriend through his friends. At that time I felt my jealousy was rational. Now i feel very stupid for being jealous coz this is my friend. But the fact just kills me that I tried so hard to get into his group of friends and never succeeded and he dint even have to try and now hes on his way to getting closer to my friends than me and I as usual will be left out .

I cant discuss this with my friends or my boyfriend as its soo childish. but i still cant help feeling the way i do .

please help!

thanks!

sunny

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80% Normal
Based on 103 votes (82 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    Sounds like he is ready to cheat or leave you. You should watch them carefully.

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  • Lady.Pam
    14 years ago

    I feel the same as you and have the same problem only my boyfriend of three years is talking on fb with girls I don't know and whom are younger than me. I too feel childish but the jealousy is a living hell I feel for you sorry I can't help.

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  • xtina8910
    12 years ago

    Um, your boyfriend and friend constantly emailing eachother and what not is NOT okay. Whether you trust them or not. Its just wrong.

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  • Skyscraper
    12 years ago

    My boyfriend and one of my closest friends have known each other for longer than i have. I bothers me that they constantly flirt and she sits on his lap and he grabs her arse and she goes on about how well they get on. I haven't been particularly bothered because they both assured me nothing would ever happen because of certain things. those things have now changed and i really dont trust either of them when they are drunk. The thought of anything happening between them is making me feel sick and I cant look at them when they're together....

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  • koifish
    13 years ago

    I don't feel comfortable with my boyfriends friends either.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Happened to me too.. Just trust your friend. :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Of course it's normal. I'm terriyfied of being rejected by my firebds

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  • bazwell
    14 years ago

    I think it ia fair to say that your fears are not irrational because you are uncomfortable with your boyfriend having open playful banter with other girls. The part where it becomes a bit irrational is where you seem to have some resentment towards him for his ability to get along with your friends so well. I can't speak for his friends: maybe they are assholes, maybe they don't trust you, maybe they have crushes on you and are uncomfortable...we could spend all day throwing out scenarios for nothing.

    My suggestion would be that you should focus on yourself. It seems that this fear that you will be abandoned, and your love-interest taken away from you is a recurring theme. Reflect upon why you fear it so much, and what it would mean for you if it did happen. Your answer will reveal more about you than you realize.

    Best of luck to you!

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