Im a selfish or do i deserve better?

Maybe try a trial separation? I know it would be hard on the five year old, but if you stayed together and then finally after four more years you want to separate, it would probably harder on a nine year old and now a six year old as well. I would think a child would want to grow up in happy homes with a mother and father who are content rather than a negative environment. Could you really fake your mode 24/7 for your kids?
You might want to also see a counselor or something to talk this over with. It is nice to just have someone to listen. I would gather your complete thoughts, take a while to figure out how you truly feel, and then talk it over with your spouse. Making a rash decision would be a bad idea.

I was in a 6 year relationship. Wasn't happy. We spent every waking moment together. I had to end it for many reasons and it wasn't strange. I actually have to share space with him. He's my room mate :/ None of that matters. What matters, is you're happiness. Don't ever let a child or children keep you with someone.

well look u already have life and because u marriage when u was yong and now u think is wrong and that's wrong because u gonna leave ur life n go n looking for new love n life n that's not guaranteed u will have it and even if it guaranteed u shouldn't do it because it's bad and marriage life it should be all on the table i mean put everything on table between u n him or her and talk about in good way and rememeber when u talk about problems also talk about the happy time u spend and u want back n here u will sort the problem ur life will be better because u can speak and say what's wrong and right and palning for even next year that's what's family about and of course u will break ur kids hearts because they shouldn't live far away from their parents and also will affact on their future and life and u may loss them because is not guaranteed they will like ur new life and they may go their dad and u will be the loser so becarefull of what u wish a lot of ppl wish ur life to be under good man arms and trust me u could make him change to be a good person then he is now and also u could make him worst then his now so think about used ur heart not brain just think about the long term not the short and alwasy plane for next view years and what u want to be and that's dos help a lot to keep in good mod and better act when problems comes so close ur eyes n u will see only dark and that's the new future u want but open ur eyes and u will see ur self and family and this is the future in ur hand!!!!

I think the first step is communication. Talking to your partner will go a long way. Just be careful when you talk to him. You don't want to go off accusing him for what went wrong. But when you talk to him, and if he feels the same, then you know that you're not alone in this. If he doesn't feel the same and he wants to stick with you, then maybe he'll try harder and thing will change for you.

Best of luck!

Why don't you try marriage counseling first?

Losing the flame happens and isn't a bad thing, but when it goes out and it's not worth your time to relight, it's a good time to go.
You did your 'time' and it hasn't worked out ideally. Trial separation, open relationships (if you know what you're missing and want), and immediate divorce will all work for you, you just need to talk it out with your partner and pick one that works for you.
Maybe youll stir up his thoughts and he'll fight to relight the flame for you, proving that it's worth it. Talk it out. :)

I think if you're unhappy u should seperate. What would the children prefer- happy parents seperate or unhappy parents together? Either that or try counseling.

What you need to do is to separate for the kids! You don't want him and his bad parenting style to mess them up.

Here are two options: 1) an open marriage. Sleep in different rooms and see other people but still stay together.
Or 2) separate slowly. Get a different bedroom, do things with the kids separately. Act like roommates. Then slowly find a second house and move out, with rooms for the kids also. So it's a slow change.

Those are just ideas. I really dont know. Everyone deserves to be happy. Sorry you're going though this.