Is it normal your boyfriend doesn't want to see you when he has a problem?

50% Normal
4 Comments

So my boyfriend failed almost all of his exams, his parents tell him to stop studying (forever) so he will never get his diplom. I send him texts that I want to see him and give him a hug, be there for him, just see him with or without talking about it, helping him through this or trying to make him think about something else, whatever he wants, but he doesn't answer, and when he answers the phone he almost says nothing, except that he doesn't want to see me for a while, but he does see his friends and his youth group and he tells me because that's an obligation (he also needs to help there sometimes), but it seriously isn't. And yesterday I saw the most happy and enthousiastic pictures of him ever where he acts crazy with his friends, jumps in the air, is dancing all alone somewhere outside, is laughing with with people, acts crazy in the background of other pictures (so it's not just for the picture like he's acting that he has fun, he does have fun). But I still have to wait 1 more week until he wants to see me. I said even an hour this week is enough, but he doesn't want to because he doesn't feel ready to see people. I mean, I truly want to be there when he has a bad moment, it would make me feel important that I mean something to him. Is this normal he says he doesn't want to see me for a while? It feels like he's searching for an excuse not to see me.

Voting Results
50% Normal
Based on 12 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • just4momentum
    11 years ago

    Maybe he just wants space, or time to hangout with his friends. It's his boundaries. He might not need your help, might just want to be around his friends and be stupid and fun and forget about it. Try to respect his process, even if it feels like poop because you so badly want to help (trust me I have the exact same thing with people I care about). Leave him alone for a week (or however long) and just don't talk to him. Don't take it personally, like I said. He's stressed out and is telling you what he wants. Once you don't talk to him (not even texting or "checking up on him", he'll probably realize that he misses you and, when he's ready, he'll spend time with you. It's normal. (:

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    • PrettyLies
      11 years ago

      He just broke up with me because he says I made his problems worse by texting him (only twice a day) thinks like that I wanted him to know that I was always there for him! :/

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      • just4momentum
        11 years ago

        Okay then he's an asshole. Honestly, you didn't make his problems worse. You didn't do anything wrong. Texting him and telling him you care is NOT making his problem worse. Try not to beat yourself up, girl. I know breakups can be hard. He doesn't deserve your help or anything that you can give him. <3

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  • kelili
    11 years ago

    I understand him. When you face failure friends offer distraction while bf or gf provides comfort which remind you that you are being comforted for having failed

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