Is it normal you consider someone a friend who dislikes your values and tastes?

58% Normal
9 Comments

I thought she was my best friend but I'm not sure now.

We met as kids in primary school and now we're in uni. She was born in a rich family who runs a prosperous business and could afford her everything. In contrast, my family is modest and I am only living on my student loan... She studies fashion and wears designers clothes whereas, I am a biologist and wears the same casual clothes the entire year. The older we get, the greater the contrast has become. She said to me, "You can look nice too if you wear nicer clothes". Maybe she didn't mean it but I was hurt by that. My best friend thinks I look bad in jeans and t-shirt?

Also she was hinting that my mind was too simple especially when dealing with people. She considered socializing as a mind game, which could be true but I think she was over complicating stuff... I know the world is sinful, however I still like being myself, not that I would go around and hurt people's feelings but I just don't like the idea of playing mind games with every person I meet. Life can be simple and beautiful, depends how you see it, right?

We didn't have and never got to the point of arguing but I was so shocked by how different we have become. I felt like she was almost looking down on me... do you think she's still a friend of mine?

Voting Results
58% Normal
Based on 31 votes (18 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 9 )
  • Shackleford96
    11 years ago

    Aw, I know how you are feeling right now. It is a very difficult thing to do, accepting the growing differences between yourself and a friend you have known since childhood, but the cold hard truth of the matter is that people, and friendships change. You can accept it, or try and deny it longer, but it's going to happen anyway. Just try to appreciate all the good times you have had together with her in the past. Don't break things off abruptly though; these things take time. Try to go out on good terms with each other if at all possible. You will be glad you did looking back later on in your years. She probably realizes that you both are growing apart as well. Try not to hold it against her, she probably didn't mean to hurt your feelings when she said that. I know it's difficult, but you can make it through this. I am going through kind of the same thing in my life right now. You will make new friends, I promise.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago

    Friends change and that is the way the world works. Her mind is on fashion, and social networking, while yours is more focused on you studies and being yourself. You guys can be friends forever, but you might not ever be as close as you used to because of the huge difference between you.

    She shouldn't however try to change you to be more like her. That seems close minded and selfish to me!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    If your friend inadvertently hurt your feelings with her suggestion that you could improve your style and social abilities, then you should tell her. She was probably just trying to help you (even though you didn't ask for that sort of help).

    I didn't have anything in common with my childhood friends, but we still keep in touch and are friendly because we shared our childhood together. It'll be my twenty-year grad reunion next year.

    You two are going to change a lot, but try to stay friends despite it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Boo!
      11 years ago

      How many grad reunions are there? I thought it was like a after ten year thing?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        I grew up in a small community and there were 42 people in my graduating class. We enjoy coming together every ten years even though most of us still keep in touch anyway.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Boo!
          11 years ago

          Oh thats cool. Wow thats really a small comunity!! Thats awesome! Though if thats true then a ten year reunion seem a little too long.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • welkinson
    11 years ago

    she doesn't understand what no money means, does she?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    Your friend has been swayed by the superficial things in life simply because they are glamorous and 'respected' by other people. It's extremely hard to withstand pressure to showcase your wealth and prosperity; it's a trap though. Things are fleeting and so is satisfaction. You can make a child happy by throwing gifts at him, but adults aren't so easily manipulated (and if they are impressed by objects, properties, and social status, they are ambitious and therefore dangerous).

    She may well be better off financially and popular, now, but in 20 years...it's likely that you will be more fulfilled and peaceful.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    No. It's my way or the highway!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0