Iin? would rather never meet someome instead of losing them tragically

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26 Comments

If I knew I was going to meet someone who I am going to lose tragically, then I would rather never meet the person at all. By the way, by tragically, I mean either by disappearing without a trace or dying a horrible death.

This is also one of the reasons why I don't want kids, or if I do I don't want to become close to them, because if something happens they will suffer dearly.

Is this normal for me to hold this view?

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 116 votes (61 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • charli.m
    10 years ago | pl

    I lost someone a few years back. The whole time he was in my life was insane and painful with moments of brilliance and beauty. I miss him dearly, but I'm glad I had a chance to know him.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Sounds like a cowardly way to live.

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    It's better to regret something you did do than something you didn't do.

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    • shoVel
      10 years ago

      What? So regret can be good in some cases?

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      • handsignals
        10 years ago

        I regret becoming a drug addict but if I didn't I'd spend the rest of my life wondering what it feels like to get high.

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  • Xal
    10 years ago

    Horrible things will inevitably happen in life and sadly you will lose loved ones, but that's no reason to deprive yourself of the chance to meet and form relationships with people that could make you happier than you can ever imagine. The good times, however plentiful or rare, will help you to get through those bad times.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I never said that I didn't want to meet anyone. I'm just saying that if I KNEW that I would lose them tragically, then I would rather never meet them.

      I am aware that all people will eventually die. I don't consider it tragic if they die a natural death. For example, my grandmother passed away and though it was sad, I have no regrets about meeting her. What I meant is that if there is no closure, like that of Jimmy Hoffa's disappearance.

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      • Xal
        10 years ago

        Sorry, perhaps I didn't address the question very well. However, I still believe even losing someone and having no closure is better than denying yourself the chance to get to know them. If they end up becoming an important part of your life then of course it will hurt all the more when you lose them, but the time you spent together will also be that much more important and precious to you. They could influence the very nature of your character in ways that will remain present long after they are gone.

        I don't really know how else to word it. Losing someone sucks and obviously much more so if there is foul play involved or the events or there death are unknown to you. You could deny yourself that pain by never knowing them but you would also deny yourself the joy that getting to know them could bring you. Personally, I think the good outweighs the bad.

        I apologize if I still don't grasp the question

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    According to my notes I don't give a fuck.

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    • shoVel
      10 years ago

      tommythecat I'd really appreciate you not looking at my notes you "copy CAT".. Get it? COPY CAT? Get it? Ha Ha.. Damn I'm one funny son of a bitch!

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    • iEatZombies_
      10 years ago

      LOL

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  • ___
    10 years ago

    I could have missed the pain

    But I'd have had to miss the dance

    -Garth Brooks, "The Dance"

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  • starie
    10 years ago

    You shouldn't stop yourself from getting to know others all because of the possibility/inevitability of losing them.

    We are all going to die at some point. I'd rather live my life having met the amazing people i have met than live life never having met them at all.

    If i lose someone dear to me it will probably nearly kill me but it would be a pain worth feeling and a pain worth going through because it would be for them, the ones i loved.

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  • Pwnfacertwn
    10 years ago

    Normal post-adolescent phase. You'll grow out of it as you mature.

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  • loopoo
    10 years ago

    I understand, even though your time with them might have been amazing, it would just make their dissaperance or death absolutely soul destroying.

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  • SxDforever
    10 years ago

    You sound like a coward... You have to sacrifice yourself to be happy

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    • shoVel
      10 years ago

      No you don't. That's ridiculous and preposterous to assume everyone thinks in the same way you do. Some people are much happier without people or pleasing anyone. It's all dependent on your own personality and what makes you happy and what makes you unhappy. Just because this person obviously is inverted and isn't a people pleaser doesn't make them a coward just not a people person and sacrifice of ones self is not in their agenda.

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  • college
    10 years ago

    If I KNEW he (or she) was going to die a tragic death I would still get to know him. He could make a huge impact on my life in a positive way, and perhaps I might make his last times on earth happier as well. Though I must admit I would probably be consumed with stopping his tragedy.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      That is very true, but this isn't what the question is about. If you just love and lose, you start off back at square one. But if you lose someone tragically, you are in an even deeper position than before.

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  • dirtybirdy
    10 years ago

    I can think of someone or two that I would never like to meet and also lose tragically :)

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  • dogarse
    10 years ago

    It's perfectly normal to want to protect yourself against loss or grief. Perhaps at this time in your life you don't need the stress. But life is long and boring and sometimes you might feel as though you want to explore some of the extremes. If you have experienced a lot of tragedy then maybe it would do you good to avoid it for a while.

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  • davesumba
    10 years ago

    You must miss out on a lot of things in life.

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  • Skitzo1
    10 years ago

    The way you said tragic would imply you care about them. Its better to know them. When someone dies, they don't just die, they are not gone and never will be.
    As long as you still care about that person, they will live on in your heart and affect how you go about your day to day life. Then they are always with you. Its better to have the memories of those people, than just want to forget them, because if you "just get over them" then everything they lived and died for, would have gone to waste.

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  • bemah
    10 years ago

    No it's not. Hey i know I'm quoting Shakespeare here, but fuck it! Isn't it better to love, then to have lost, than to never have loved at all. That's so true.

    You know, people die everyday, and they are always someones loved one, all death is tragic. If we all took that attitude, there wouldn't be any people, coz no one marries or has kidz.... You know what, who cares how tragic death is, because people die everyday, and we get over it, we move on with our lives!

    Don't sacrifice your entire life for some fucked up idea that you can't handle a little tragedy in your life, sometimes, bullshit can even make your life better.

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  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    If you went about it that way then, you'd miss on the experience of ever knowing that person. There would be no memories to look back on. You would never know what impressions of them would have an effect on you. For better or for worse, that person could have changed your life but you would never know because you don't want to take any chances.

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