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When you die you're surrounded by people who will hug each other and feel lucky they're not you and get on their little soap boxes. But if you're old, no one gives a crap. Everyone expects you to die. Is it better to be the first to die?
I don't care much if people remember me or care if I die. I simply don't want to die. It's true that dying young makes people around sadder than the death of an elderly. It's normal because old people are expected to die. They know and their family knows that the end is near while nobody expect young people to die and sees it as being unfair when they do. It leaves us wondering how their future would have been had they not passed away..
I'm not even sure what you are trying to say. It is better to die first because people will care more if you are young rather than old? Are you saying that it's better to die young because people will feel worse about it? If that is what you are saying that is awful. Why would you want people you care about to feel awful about your death just to feed an ego you won't even have anymore because you are dead?
When I experience death of a friend or family member, I have never felt lucky to not be them. That is not where my head is at.