Is it normal when someone does not get context to words?

There is someone I know and they do not understand to match Actions with Words. That or they are just really manipulative and play stupid. They tend to say "No go ahead and do this" and than treat you terrible when you do it. Than state "Oh I did not say you cant do it? Why are you blaming me". I wondering if mentally they are just not processing how they behave with what they actually say and so its hard to explain to them. Its like a husband beating the crap out of his wife and says "Well did I say I dont love you? No, well than I do obviously so you are a bitch for leaving me!" Is there a disorder which makes it hard for people to understand the connection between context, behavior, and what you say? If so, does anyone have any idea what it is so I could possibly get through to this person?