Is it normal we don't sleep in the same bed

53% Normal
8 Comments

We makes three months today.

We met through a friend and instantly hit it off. We spent the next day together and days became weeks.

As I've grown to know him he has had a difficult life, being beat by his step father, kneeling on rice all kind of Lifetime movie fucked up stuff. Gang history and whole nine yards.

That being said we have this amazing connection. Great communication to the point we literally finish each others sentences. Our sex life has gone down in frequency, not spark. When we do it, we have renamed it comet, for the feeling is just so!

My only complaint is he doesn't sleep next to me in bed. He says that is something he is not used to. He told me of a past girlfriend he punched in the face while he was sleeping. I straight up told him I would punch him back.

Anyway sleeping Lucy and Ricky Ricardo style sucks. He isn't very affectionate but allows me to touch him. When I do I'm gentle with a hug and kiss kiss on the cheek. He is so gorgeous, it makes me mad almost.

One positive, since we met he drank every day. He stopped last week, and so far so good.

But is this normal? To not be affectionate but to be more like best friends?

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 40 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • idontcaree
    7 years ago

    When I sleepwalk I become a serial puncher.

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  • Emarmake
    7 years ago

    Its natural human instinct to want to cuddle a loved one at night. We humans are a species that craves affection and intimacy, so for your boyfriend to not feel this way means he probably hasn't been given much affection throughout his life. This whole sleeping next to someone is probably such a foreign concept to him that he feels uncomfortable and awkward.
    Also judging by what you mentioned about the abuse he has gone through, I'd say he would probably have some trust issues too. Sleeping is when one is most vulnerable so naturally we find it difficult to sleep next to someone we don't trust. Its just basic human instinct.
    My advice to you is to just keep working on it. Start small, like napping next to each other on the couch or even just snuggling for an extended period of time. Eventually he'll feel more comfortable with the intimacy and begin to crave it. As for the trust issue, maybe its an issue or maybe it has nothing to do with the sleeping problem, thats just something you'll have to find out for yourself.
    Anyways I hope this helps and I hope you and your boyfriend solve this soon. Believe me, being able to fall asleep in the arms of the one you love is one of the best parts of being in a relationship so I hope you can experience this soon. Good luck dear.

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    • pantychaffe
      7 years ago

      So Saturday was a surprise. We were watching TV having a good time, then he asked me to do his hair, then he fell asleep in my lap. Oh the joy! And pain that grew in my leg. I also met his family that night too. They were alright. But last night I tries to get some sex and got turned down. Then after I pretend to sleep he goes in the shower, smoking a CIG , who knows. I hate that he is under my skin. This is making me physcotic. I'm a looker and never had a guy turn me down for sex! But the weekend was nice

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      • Emarmake
        7 years ago

        Well at least he is opening up to you where it counts.
        As for the sex, has this happened before with him?
        If not, than its probably nothing.

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  • RoseIsabella
    7 years ago

    If someone punched me in his sleep I'd have to fuck him up for good measure.

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    • fluffy1uv
      7 years ago

      Love reading your comments X,D

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  • Tessla
    7 years ago

    It sounds, from his background, as if he might just be shy or maybe he has religious reasons for not sleeping with you.

    I mean sex is one thing, but the intimacy of sleeping next to you every night is a different thing. On a religious level if he sees it as screwing up once in a while by having sex with you it may be that sleeping next to you is completely different because he knows it will lead to sex.

    Does that seem like it could be something...you could talk to him about it.

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  • xfg34
    7 years ago

    If he hasn't punched you in the face yet while you were sleeping, something's not right. He must not love you as much as his ex.

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