Is it normal we are staying together although we know were going to break up?

75% Normal
5 Comments

I am going off to college, not too far from home maybe like 3 hrs away and I'm in a relationship. Weve talked about it and we don't wanna go through problems so we kind of agreed to break up once I leave, however we are still together and happy Id say. I feel though that I could be wasting my time w him right now knowing he doesnt want to put the effort in being w me throughout college. For me, yeah i think its best if i am single because I want to be free and have fun and I don't want to hurt him. But because I love being w him so much I feel like I would try at least in the beginning of college and if it doesnt work out then it doesnt work out and well mutually break up but if it is working out then we'll go on. I just feel like he won't even try to do that after telling me how strong he feels about me. It really saddens me. I even asked him would you get back w me when I come back and he's like "I dont know maybe we changed and itll be different" which sounds like something I would say but because I do feel strong about him, I am willing to try. I thought he felt the same about me, even stronger, but this lack of effort is making me think twice about staying together until I leave knowing we are not gonna last. If he doesn't feel strong enough about me to try and stay together, then why am I with him? Sometimes I want to tell him lets break up already since we know its not gonna last. We told each other how if it wasn't for me leaving, we would probably last for a while. What should I do? We are happy, nothing majorly wrong, except little things here and there that bug me about him like this problem right now which I might consider to break up w him but I dunno...I don't want to break up and possibly have a serious loss but I don't want to waste my time. HELP PLEASE

Voting Results
75% Normal
Based on 24 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • mupurple11
    11 years ago

    If you really love each other it's always worth a try to stay together. There will be temptations at college but if you guys have trust in each other and are willing to put in the effort of a long distance relationship, at least give it a try.

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  • baywatch805
    11 years ago

    My boyfriend is going away to college in august and its about 2 hours away. We've talked about how much we're gonna miss each other, but other than that we don't even worry about there being problems in our relationship because of it. I say talk to him and give it a shot, girl. Especially if you feel that strongly toward him :)

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  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago

    If you already know you are going to break up, what is the point in "wasting you time" with her. Personally I stayed with my girl when I went to college because I really loved her. However I fucked everything up and hurt her because I was to immature to handle everything that came with a big university and acted selfishly. If you know you are going to break up, dragging it on is only going to cause one or both of you to get hurt more.

    It sucks a lot I know, but you have to think about what is best for both of you, and do it.

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  • lolargh
    11 years ago

    I stayed with a guy for my first year of college, it's SO HARD to have a happy long distance relationship and i PROMISE you that it is way more fun to be single at college without the stress of a relationship back home.

    it is sad breaking up and it will be hard at first but you'll have so many new friends and things to do at college that it will be easy to get through.

    i didn't really enjoy my first year away because i was in a relationship, i thought that i didn't want to break up though because i didn't want to lose something amazing. beginning of my second year he broke up with me out of the blue (on my birthday). and it's HORRIBLE because you feel like you wasted a whole year on something that was never going to work out anyway, break ups are HORRIBLE but it's pretty much impossible to keep long distance going, i only know like a few couples who have,
    but now i'm single it's so much more fun!!!

    so my advice is to enjoy the time you have left, it will be hard and sad but just say goodbye before you go, keep in touch because you never know what might happen in the future, but enjoy college as much as you can and single life is the best life wooo good luck!

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  • Corleone
    11 years ago

    "I don't want to break up and possibly have a serious loss but I don't want to waste my time."

    A serious loss? You're wasting your time on a girl you have no future with. In my opinion, that's a serious loss.

    You need some time apart. Don't stay with her because you're afraid to be alone. That's the worst reason (albeit a common one) to stay in a relationship

    I know a lot of couples stay in 'limbo' because they hate being single, but trust me: clinging onto a dead-end relationship is the last thing you want to do. Things won't change for the better unless YOU make that change.

    Good luck.

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