Is it normal to wonder why did i get married?

I've been in a relationship for 8 years and married for the last two of them. Leading up to the marriage I wasn't a perfect man. I was selfish and it put a lot of strain on the relationship. Even through all that she still insisted on marrying me. We got hitched nothing fancy and took a week for our honeymoon. Once back she wanted to go visit her family etc as many of them where unable to go to the wedding. Off she went with our at the time 2 year old.

I'm rambling so I'll get to the point after 1 1/2 wks of visiting she cheated on me. Which hurt of course but put things in prospective for me. We reconciled and things went on much improved on my part. Every year she goes to visit her family and usually I can't get the time off most times. About 5 mths ago she was visiting her family again and cheated yet again, this time carrying on a relationship with other man. I completely do a 180 and change all my bad habits to keep her happy and spits in my face. As soon as I mentioned I wanted to get a divorce she confessed what was going on. Her behavior gave her away in the first place. She begged and begged for me to take her back and she would change etc etc. So I took some time and then we decided to give our marriage one last chance.

I set some ground rules that I need in order to move past the betrayel. One of them being she cannot go back to see her family for a long while and her friends involved in her cheating she had to let go. She stopped contact with them but then last month added them back to her facebook and talks to them daily. We were making real headway for awhile but lately it's all starting to feel like i made a HUGE mistake. Although she tells me numerous times through the days that she loves me. She doesn't make any efforts to be affectionate and her mood is shady at least 2/3 of the time I'm home. She spends most of the day on netflix laying on the couch. she'll do dishes but that is about it.

I constantly come home from work only to spend the next 2 hours picking up the house. I've mentioned no eating in the living room for our 4 year old. But if I'm not home my son is allowed to do basically whatever he wants so long as it doesn't conflict with her tv viewing. She'll bounce back and forth from her shows to her facebook. She also has been sleeping on the couch saying she falls asleep during her shows.

If I ask her to come to bed she yells and pushes me away. She also hasn't been paying the bills. Instead spending money on junk food and ordering crap online.

Then there is the smug comments that come out of nowhere. I know she is not cheating as i have keyloggers installed on both our desktop and laptop. I also have the phones monitored.

I've went as far as to lay out all the things i felt we needed to work on, how I felt etc. She didn't have much to say but I need to work on that and I'll try harder. but no info on her thoughts or etc.

I've recently made good friends with a co-worker of the opposite sex. We are only friends but i can tell she would like something more. She makes me feel important and I really enjoy being around her. I told my wife today about my co-worker in hopes it would make her put in an effort to really start working on our marriage. She asked me what she would have to do to show me. I told her she could start by getting rid of her facebook friends who set her up with the other man perminatly.

She told me that was asking to much of her because it was her choice to cheat and out of her friends hands anyways. Am I asking to much of her? I'm not planning on getting even with my co-worker. I'll only persue a friendship as of now or if she does improve stop the friendship all together.

As you can tell I still trust issues and with the way things are going believe that if oppertunities present themselves she would cheat again. I have done everything to get over the hurt from her betrayal and finally feel better about myself. I just feel like I'm wasting my time.