Is it normal to wonder about this guy i have been dating?

56% Normal

I've dated this guy for 2 months so far and I do like him. Lets put it this way I have a feeling he is use to moving too fast in relationships and I believe any healthy relationship takes time to develop. You need to know each others quirks and behaviors that may annoy you a lot more in the future before deciding on moving into a much deeper relationship.

The thing is I have already discussed with him my views on dating is that I believe the process takes at least 4 months depending on the couple. I had to talk to him about due to him asking me after we had dated 1 month and plus he hasn't ever been in a straightforward relationship.

Last night he asked me again after we have dated 2 months, I had felt uncomfortable with the question and didn't have a immediate answer. He then told me it's fine because he believes when someone claims to be there boyfriend/girlfriend that is just more of a status and a way to show-off, you just need to be happy to be with each other.

I feel I still need to discuss with him that like I have said that you need to take things slowly, though this would be about the 4th time, which is crazy. I don't need to have to keep discussing because then I feel like I'm trying to be controlling.

Last night he had also called me his (my name), which I felt out of place. I still believe we have different levels of liking each other. But I have to say we are still compatible in other areas otherwise it's just the speed process that I worry about plus how much he likes me already. It's great to view the positives but ignoring negatives isn't healthy either, nobody is perfect.

He seems to be a great guy but too soon is soon, jumping it can cause so much more pain too. He seems more dependant and I can be overly independent at times but I would rather be cautious than not. And the question is to bring up on taking things slow "again".

Voting Results

56% Normal

Based on 9 votes (5 yes)

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Comments ( 13 )

Fall_leaves

9 years ago

If you feel like it's too soon, then it's too soon. I don't think you should have to repeat your feelings, just try to slow it down. I also feel the same way, taking things slower gives you a better idea if the relationship is worth pursuing. It also tells you a lot about the person in the time that you take to get to really experience them without having the bf/gf label. Ask him to slow it down because it can get creepy when someone is too into you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yes, I agree. Though I have talked to him about it several times, it seems he doesn't think about what I had said. I think taking a step away from the phone for a bit could help too. Maybe he will realize that I was being honest on my thoughts and choose to slow down more.
  
  One thing that I felt odd about was last night we were speaking on the phone and he said he had looked up sexual meditation and had it bookmarked. We had gone to a meditation class in the past though, which maybe he was just curious so he told me he had looked it up. I feel like I could ask him more about that later on. I had told him about me wanting to wait to have sex until marriage in case you would be wondering.
  
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  - Fall_leaves
    
    9 years ago
    
    Is he ok with you wanting to wait?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      He seemed ok. I'm not sure why he would still be dating me if he wasn't ok because I made sure he knew.
      
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Arm0se

9 years ago

"I believe the process takes at least 4 months depending on the couple." You can't really judge your relationship based off of others. You just have to let it happen, or not happen.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yes, that is true. Though I can tell you that I am not quite ready for a deep relationship after 2 months, I feel that is too fast for "most" people depending on the level of liking each other and how much contact you have had with them.
  
  So my view is at least 4 months and "depending" on the couple.
  
  Gotta see where it takes you... All I know is that I am liking this guy more and more from getting to know him. And taking it slowly and not feeling pressured helps keep the flame from burning. He seems to be a sweet guy and doesn't seem to have too much of a forceful side to him. We all have our quirks though and it can take time to see them. :) Plus some of his quirks I have noticed, I think are cute.
  
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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

Have you considered the possibility that maybe you're just not that into him?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  No, I like this guy quite a bit and have thought about that before. Then I continued to talk to him on the phone and hung out with him more. Right now thinking about not being into him, makes me think on how much I do like this guy.
  
  We have a lot in common and have similar values and view points on the world.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    9 years ago
    
    Right on, I figured it never hurts to question things.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Yes, I understand that.
      
      I think a lot of people can be too insecure on themselves to the point where they don't know their true feelings towards someone, so they can not admit if they like someone.
      
      I think I truly have more worry towards him than anything and that isn't good either. I feel worried when guys seem to move to fast that they may be confused on their feelings towards the other and that it can just fall too fast.
      
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wafflesundays

9 years ago

well I was worried about my partner at 1st questioning things an thinking he might cheat on me he has never had a realionship that has lasted more than.a few months We have been seeing each other a year now and he met my parents and other family memembers recently take it as slow as you want if thery are good for you they will understand still going canny till this day haha i might even love him

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yes, I can't help but like this guy, he is kind. I have spoken up to him more today too and he said he realized that later on about how he attaches himself, just like I have noticed and we are figuring things out. We have insecurities that are opposite of each other; I can be overly protective of myself and he has this attachment to people he feels so close to. :) It takes two, to work together and support each other.
  
  Plus, I'm glad for you! :)
  
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  - wafflesundays
    
    9 years ago
    
    good idea its nice that you have spoken about it he sounds nice and I am happy for you too
    
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Is it normal to wonder about this guy i have been dating?