Is it normal to want to fulfill my dying friend's wish?

50% Normal

My best friend who is 22 has melanoma (skin cancer) and it near its late stages and has already spread to his lymph nodes so his survival rate is around 60%.

He's girlfriend left him when he told her that he had cancer. I'm the closest person to him now.
I'm so worried he'll pass away, since he doesn't look like he's improving. I can't even study anymore I just cry and text him to check up on how he's doing.

I saw him again today and that when he asked me if he could hold my hands, then we just kept doing that for a few hours while we chatted about happier times and random things. Before I left to go back home he started crying and dropped a bomb shell on me saying he's always loved me and asked if I could make love to him, because he's never liked his girlfriend since he was only dating her because he comes from a very Christian family. I know he's Bi, but I never expect him to ask me to fulfill that type of wish.

I don't know what to do because I've never slept with a boy before, and sleeping with a friend would be awkward. But on the other hand I really want to fulfill his wish and be there for him 24/7. He's my best friend and I can't live with out him, I'm scared to do it and think I'll live with regret but not sure which choice would cause me more regret.

tldr: my friend has late stage cancer and wants me to sleep with him what should I do?

Voting Results

50% Normal

Based on 54 votes (27 yes)

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Comments ( 43 )

Jacob_Zuma_783

7 years ago

Simple: don't do it. A true friend wouldn't make such a stupid request.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Is it really stupid? He is sick and he said he's in love with me.
  But then again I don't feel comfortable doing it. The futherest I could go is a kiss.
  
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Crow

7 years ago

It's normal in this case to want to help but there's a line you should draw. If you're being kind to others at the expense of being unkind to yourself: stop.

You're not comfortable with it? Don't do it. It's best not to kiss him either. He'll want more and you'll regret disappointing him, anyway.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  I wouldn't want to lead him on, that is true. So I wont kiss him either.
  
  I always put others above my self, just the way I am. But it does cost me alot of trouble sometimes.
  
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Cookiecutter

7 years ago

As much as you feel guilty dont do it. You will regret sleeping him more than anything else your not comfortable with it and hes most likely just saying all this stuff because hes knows hes going to die. Its not real.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Do you think he's lying about being in love with me?
  I was worried about the regrets I might feel after. I think maybe I can find other ways to make him happy.
  
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  - Cookiecutter
    
    7 years ago
    
    He might he just trying to guilt you into sleeping with him. Theres plenty of ways to help him by not sleeping with him.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      7 years ago
      
      That's true.
      I think I'll just take him to different places. Staying in one place can get boring.
      
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sandnigga

7 years ago

You dont have to sleep with him if you dont want to. Its good enough that you're already there for him.

You dont have to. But its up to you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Okay, I just feel guilty that I can't get my self to do it.
  I hope staying by his side is enough for him.
  He's really scared of dying alone.
  
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  - sandnigga
    
    7 years ago
    
    You dont have to do it though
    
    Well I mean you could say you two could get in a relationship, and if things go well then maybe.
    
    But of course being by his side is good enough :) You dont have to have sex with him. Its your body, not his no matter what.
    
    Thats why I said your choice, I dont know how long you've known him either. But the feeling is definately up to you.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      7 years ago
      
      I've never dated a long time friend before, they seem like a sibling to me after a while. Or a matter of the fact, never even dated a boy.
      
      I like him but not like-like, with love and attraction. But that would be ideal if both of us shared mutual feelings.
      
      Since primary school. And okay I'll remember that.
      
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      - sandnigga
        
        7 years ago
        
        ohh ok
        
        :)
        
        ohhhh thats a long time then
        
        well you can always start dating if you want to, nothing wrong with that, just however your feeling towards him
        
        just all up to you
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        7 years ago
        
        Okay I think about it very carefully. Since he won't be around in the future.
        
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Shora

7 years ago

Don't do it

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- .Yourmindisfuckedup.
  
  7 years ago
  
  May you be blessed with many pigs ,wrap yourself in bacon!!
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Do you think I'll greatly regret it if he passes away?
  If he doesn't I'll be so happy but then things will still be awkward between us.
  I'm considering now maybe I should just offer to kiss him, but I don't know if I'm thinking straight right now.
  Death really gets to me.
  
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(s)aint

7 years ago

Difficult one. Especially if you aren´t into him that way.

Maybe just cuddle him? touch him? let him touch you?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Yeah I really want to help him and make him happy. But my body won't agree with my head and thinks it's a bad idea. But my mind is telling me it's a very old close friend it couldn't be that bad.
  
  I worried if I do try to do it I might stop in the middle or somewhere when we start. And I don't want to upset him.
  
  Just so confused on what I should do, I don't want him to die all depressed and stressed.
  
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  - (s)aint
    
    7 years ago
    
    Earnestly? he´ll likely feel like shit no matter what happens.
    
    I don´t know, it´s sort of shitty of him to put you in this situation.
    
    If you want to try and do this, be open with him and refuse to promise anything. Maybe start with giving him a couple of hand jobs and see how that feels
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      7 years ago
      
      Yeah he will won't he...maybe there's no point then.
      
      Yeah...
      
      Or maybe I could just use a toy, that way I can avoid contact. But I'll see if I decide to or not.
      
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      - (s)aint
        
        7 years ago
        
        Got another idea, he´s against prostitutes right? Why not hire one to pretend to get to know him and get interested in him?
        
        He gets to fuck someone and believes it´s for real.
        
        If he survives, deal with it then. if he dies, he dies happy.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        7 years ago
        
        That's a good idea!
        He won't know if no one tells him.
        Just hopes he falls for it.
        Maybe I'll pretend he's a class mate or something.
        
        I hope he survives, and I'll take the secret to my grave.
        
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      - (s)aint
        
        7 years ago
        
        I mean I´m a sex addict so ... even if I got the time of my life for an entire week before i died? I´d still feel like utter shit.
        
        You can´t cure him or make him feel perfectly fine with himself.
        
        I guess you could obtain a hollow strap-on, he gets what he want the way he want it, and you wont have to fear losing your erection.
        
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Animal_Johnson

7 years ago

Dude. Hire a male prostitute to nail him in the ass. His lifelong wish to have a massive cock fuck his slippery ass will make him giggle with delight. What the fuck? It's sort of a no brainer.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  His other friends tried to arrange it for him when he first got cancer to sleep with a male and female prositute, but he was too depressed and dislikes that profession. He told them that he wants to sleep with someone he likes, not a stranger.
  Don't think he wants to be fucked, it's the other way around.
  
  Sorry I didn't post this before because I didn't want to make my post too long to read.
  
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Cedric_Diggory

7 years ago

Yeah because nothing quite says "I love you" like having a dying person stick his dick in your ass

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  I only stated the points he said, he actually said more. But yeah seemed to forward of him, but he is dying...
  
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  - Cedric_Diggory
    
    7 years ago
    
    Then let him die because he is trying to guilt trip you into homosexual behaviour.
    What if this is all just a big old gay frat prank? He could be faking the cancer and trying to win that $5 bet he made with Jimbob
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      7 years ago
      
      Think he's just losing his mind a bit, reality is hitting him hard.
      And I've know him since primary school, so I doubt that, and his family is involved.
      
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Keepsake

7 years ago

Don't do it. Even though he's sick, it's not a good idea to sleep with someone when you're not comfortable with the situation. If he truly loves you, you keeping him company should be good enough.

Also, if he's currently in a hospice or a hospital, that's even more of a reason NOT to do it due to possible legal issues and the bacteria there.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Okay, I just feel a bit guilty, because he told me he's scared of dying alone.
  But I hope staying by his side will bring him peace, because stress is going to make him worse.
  
  He's going to receive surgery soon, so he hasn't stayed in a hospital yet. But looks like he'll be there for a while. So I don't have much time to think about this. The most I could offer him is a kiss, but I don't know anymore.
  
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silkspector

7 years ago

Well I'm going to tell you something my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer stage 5 was told had 6 months to live unless she had major surgery both breasts'. Removed cancer had spread to lynphnodes and bonds she received radiotherapy and chemotherapy left her disabled has autoimmune disease
Lynphodema and cellulitis takes more medication than most people including 90 mg of morphine 3x a day .that was 10 yrs ago and still alive in a wheelchair requires 24hr care

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Thank you I really needed to hear this.
  If that was 10 years ago then I'm sure my best friend can survive this.
  
  He's already had surgery to remove more of the cancer. And is receiving chemotherapy.
  The cancer had already spread to his lymph node like I said in my post, but I have more hope now he can survive this. I've decided not to sleep with him but stay by his side. He apologized to me too for asking me in the first place.
  
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Shora

7 years ago

Don't leave him alone
Don't have sex with him.
Don't offer kissing
This is my islam guide

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Uh thanks, and what are the reasons, just so I know if I'm making the right decision.
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to want to fulfill my dying friend's wish?