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I just want someone to talk to, psychologist don't even help, and friends arn't real.
I got a lot of issues and problems and ignoring and trying to fix them isn't working.
Can't even sleep, and felt like I should kill my self again today...
But probably everyone will just ignore this, don't blame them I would too...
Dude (male or female not withstanding), don't let yourself get sucked into the black hole of self-pity. It just creates a never ending cycle of depression. Do something. Anything! To keep your mind off it. Even fixing up your house would be a great place to start. Don't say "I'm planning on doing it". Do it now. I don't know whether this is real advice, haha. But I was depressed a bit, just a while ago. Got proactive and feeling a lot better about myself.
Yeah I've stopped doing alot of my hobbies, when I used to do them alot to keep me happy and busy.
And I still live with my family, but I wish I could move out, I just don't have enough money.
I'm to shy to join any clubs like dance which I enjoy. I don't know how to become more brave.
Alot.
My younger sister is selfish and doesn't like being wrong.
My brother is an idiot who does nothing but loves to live off welfare. He does study but then quits and does something else.
My dad over works himself, while my mum sits on her lazy ass and can't be bothered to find a job(even rejected the last one she got, because she said it finishes at 6pm which is too late?!).
I got a really bad medical condition that makes me more prone to cancer and diabetes, and need to loose weight to keep it under control even if I'm 80kg I still need to be lighter.
My ex scared me for life, I still don't want another relationship.
But mainly right now, everything in my house is breaking down. The electricity goes down every half an hour. The toilets, sinks, and shower are flooded. Washing machine is broken. Fridge is broken and only keeps things cool but not cold (everything in the freezer defrosted).
There's way more but too much to type. Life is so fucked up.
That's too much to solve all at once.
You should prioritize. Make a list of the the things that can be solved in the short term.
Put the most important thing at the top and continue down in order of importance.
Attack the first thing on the doable list and solve it.
Pat yourself on the back. You will start to feel your self confidence return.
Attack the next thing on the list and solve it.
Continue on until reach the end of the list.
At this point, you will have gained self respect and confidence that you can do anything you put your mind to.
The long term goals are tougher but handled the same way.
Make a list of the things you want to, and have control over to change.
Some things may not be changeable by you and you will have to live with those, but be realistic and change what you can.
Go somewhere clean and sterile everyday. Do you have a library or hospital nearby? Those places are clean and sterile and all the utilities work. You can spend hours there and no one will question you. An airport will work too. As for the personal stuff...it's all tolerable as long as you have a place to sleep on cold nights.
I think it's normal when life truly sucks not to want to live. Sometimes it gets better eventually. Hope it does for you.
I'm not ignoring you. If the psychologist you're seeing isn't helping you, can you find another one? Or is there at least a suicide crisis line you can call for some support?