Is it normal to want to die everyday?

45% Normal
8 Comments

I'm a 17 year old girl with diagnosed depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. I've been insecure about my body for as long as I can remember, in 2nd grade I started wearing jeans and hoodies everyday to hide my body. In 7th grade I had my first suicide attempt then shortly after began self harming. By the age of 13 I was hospitalized for excessive self harm and given medical treatment (this is when I was diagnosed). But here I am, 17 (almost 18) and I still want to die EVERYDAY even with medicine. Nothing helps, it's not always a strong desire either but it can be. Usually it's just the thought that if someone had a gun to my head, I would let them shoot me, maybe even beg. This is how I feel everyday... Is it normal? Will I ever be happy?

Voting Results
45% Normal
Based on 11 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Emokate
    6 years ago

    It's normal for what you have been through. Suicidal ideation is a big part of bipolar. Talk to someone for help pleeasse.

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    • StrangeHuman
      6 years ago

      I see a therapist weekly and it helps a lot to speak with her, but I just get so scared to admit when I'm suicidal because they tell my mom since I'm a minor and I feel so bad cause she cries and I don't want to disappoint my family. Thank you for the advice though, I'll be sure to try to open up more and be more honest to my therapist about these thoughts.

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      • Emokate
        6 years ago

        Of course, I am glad you are seeing someone and that it helps. The only things your therapist can report to your parents is if you are going to hurt yourself or others. Talk to your therapist about what can be divulged.

        When you discuss the thoughts with them be sure to call it suicidal ideation and tell them you don't have a plan or a means to do anything. That can't be reported and will help your doctor understand a bit better.

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        • StrangeHuman
          6 years ago

          I will keep that in mind. thank you for the help :)

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  • Semiokdude
    6 years ago

    I am not clinically depressed but I have thought about ending my life and just don't there is always something to live for and no matter how small it seems the good will always outway the bad when it comes to suicide

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    • StrangeHuman
      6 years ago

      Thank you, but honestly I just hate living so much.

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  • paramore93
    6 years ago

    Considering you were so young when this started, I'm assuming your medication and treatment has been adjusted over the years?
    As you get older conditions can change and it sounds like you may need to try something new?
    9/10 medications made me feel 10x worse

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    • StrangeHuman
      6 years ago

      Yeah, you're right. I've gone through TONS of medications but it always ends the same, manic episodes and relapsing on self harm. Thank you very much for the help :)

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