Is it normal to want to break up with suicidal boyfriend?

79% Normal
7 Comments

Need help.
I'm gay, 19, dating a guy of the same age. We've been dating three weeks. At this point I've decided that I cannot trust him; I give him gas money and he buys cigarettes, he doesn't show up when he says he is going to, etc. He has been actively trying to drive wedges between my friends and myself by lying about what others have said and preventing me contact with them. Me is much more in love with me than I am him. He's started using words like "marriage" and "forever." Keep in mind, we've known each other for less than a month. It takes me over a year to develop feelings remotely strong enough to call love. It's unfair to him for me to continue with such an imbalanced relationship. I want to break up with him, but here's the rub: he has attempted suicide 17 times. The most recent attempt was a week before we met. I've only learned this tonight, from a mutual friend, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten tied up in it at all. My current plan of action is to share my worries/concerns with him and then give him time to either reform, or to reinforce my current feelings of dissatisfaction. No matter what, him killing himself is not an acceptable outcome. Please, how can I best proceed?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 19 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Corleone
    11 years ago

    His suicidal attempts are his problem, they shouldn't become yours. Especially not after a relationship of a mere three weeks. Don't stay with someone because you feel bad for him.

    I know it sucks to leave him like that, and you're very tempted to feel guilty, but he should see a professional about his suicidal tendencies. There's nothing you can do to help him.

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    • whatisthat
      11 years ago

      I've got to agree with this. I started typing up my own reply, but this pretty much echoes what I was about to say.

      I've been in a similar situation (I'm a bisexual male), although it lasted 2 years and unfolded slowly during that time. I can tell you one thing: Even if it's very hard, you DO NOT want to be involved with people like that -- the only person who can change their ways is them, usually with professional help to guide them.

      From what it sounds like, his vision of the next few months involves slowly eating up your life, destroying your friendships and bringing him down with you in the process. Don't fall for it, and under no circumstances allow him chances to manipulate you -- a lot of people are extremely good at it, and when you're messed up, you tend to use it for evil, haha.

      Plenty of fish in the sea (even gay ones) :)

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  • Lonely2
    9 years ago

    He needs help and your not able to help him

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  • MssMurd3r
    11 years ago

    Um 17 attempts?? Sweetie those aren't attempts those are cries for attention. No one tries that many times seriously and continues to fail each time. That's just non sense. He seems to be like an attention whore or something. Just tell him that you don't feel the same way about him that he feels about you and you have to go your seperate ways. Good luck

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  • EAT_IT
    11 years ago

    I run away from food but it still lands in my tummy.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Give him more bum sex and tell him he's the best in the world

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    He's obviously gone though break ups before and survived. I broke up with a suicidal guy. He went through some emo months, but came out of it fine. Of coarse it was his fault we broke up, so he couldn't blame me.. I say break up with him while the relationship is still young, you don't want to get to deep into this form the sounds of things.

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