Is it normal to want to break up with my long distance non-boyfriend?

78% Normal
7 Comments

Ok so, preface, I'm a very passive person, I'm not emotional and I just kind of go with the flow on most things. I'm in college so I was home over the summer I met a guy and we started hanging out even though I was only in town for another month. It was all just fun for me, and a lot of my friends were gone so I had a lot of free time. He knew that I was leaving, and that I go to school VERY far away, etc. I made sure to tell him all of this so he didn't get attached or whatever.

So about two weeks before I head back to school he wants to have a "talk" about what this means for us and stuff and I basically told him that we can still talk and be friends but I'm not trying to be in any sort of relationship, especially not long distance. (I'm really not good with emotional conversations and he was trying to be deep and tell me his feelings and it was a mess). So the rest of the week happens and he brings it up again, saying how I mean so much to him and he doesn't want to be with anyone else. I basically was like "I like you too but I will be 2,000 miles away, long distance doesn't work for me." and he said "we'll see" (again I am very passive I had no idea how to respond).

The last day that we hang out before I have to leave he told me that he called me his "girlfriend" to his boss at work when he explained why he needed to leave early, and he was embarrassed and I just laughed at him (not maliciously, just sort of joking around), and before I leave he says he will miss me and gets all emotional again and I'm just trying to get outta there.

So I've been at school for a few months and he keeps asking to facetime at least once a week, and gets annoyed when I don't respond to his texts, and on our last facetime he said that he "didn't realize how hard it would be to date me when I'm so far away" and how he misses me so much more than he expected. So in my mind I was thinking "HOLD IT we aren't dating? what did I miss?" and basically now I have no idea what to do because I feel like I wasn't clear with my communication or something and that is why he thinks we are dating? Or maybe he is the crazy one?

And I really don't want to hurt his feelings but I'm going home in a month and I don't want him to think we will be spending the entirety of winter break together because I don't even know him that well and I don't even know what is going on.
Please help.

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 18 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • mystery7
    8 years ago

    I think it depends on if you were having intimacy and sexy times. If so, I think it's normal for him to want more and maybe even want a relationship.

    If not, then he's probably kidding himself and has the wrong idea. Whichever way it is, it's plainly obvious from your post that you are simply not into him anyway, and it would be way better for him to forget about you.

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  • SportMontana
    8 years ago

    ok, we are currently having a text conversation and he is trying to ask me to forget that he even brought it up and that we should just keep on like nothing happened, but I am saying that this is going nowhere and that the fact that it is so serious for him is freaking me out, I think i have to be a little harsh to get my point across

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  • SportMontana
    8 years ago

    Update, he sent me a text this morning saying we need to talk, asking if i want space, saying it seems like i want nothing to do with him.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      Sounds as if he's getting the message accurately: now you need to be a responsible adult and be clear with him about your lack of feeling for him. Be kind but definite: have a think about how you'd like to be told this if it were the other way round and don't give him false hopes

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  • Shiny_Down
    8 years ago

    Be firm. You said you're passive- this is not a time when you can be passive. Just tell him "Dude, we are not dating."

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  • Mr,SexyJesus
    8 years ago

    TL;DR

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  • FJK_frm_AK25
    8 years ago

    Damn.. This dudes probably gonna b super butt hurt n mite even guilt trip u,if he does its his own fault for not understanding ur stance,I didn't see the acuaul convo so u cud have been too padsive n not clear with him at all ,if that's the case let him dwn by maybe distancing urself from him til he gets the picture.

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