Is it normal to want other relationships to fail?

75% Normal
6 Comments

I am best friends with my ex. We talk almost daily. He is in a relationship with a new girlfriend, who is his first sexual partner. He tells me whenever they are on the outs or fighting about something. He tells me of his relationship with her and I act as
a confidant. He's definitely not there for the sex, which apparently she sucks at immensely(he cannot climax with her, she pretty well makes him do all the work). He says he loves her, but at the same time he is still in love with me. I know for a fact that she hates me because he told me she has told him so. Reasoning for that is because he and I dated before and still remained friends after the breakup. Some people would classify this as emotional cheating, but to me it's more like listening and being there for my best friend. Is it normal to feel like I'm being used by him in the situation as someone to lean on? Do you classify this as cheating emotionally? He knows how I feel about him but he still comes to me for advice on the relationship. He has done alot to try and make things work, changing his usual routine almost completely for her. I've always been a firm believer of not changing your partner no matter what their faults or quirks, but embracing them and doing both things that they enjoy and you enjoy while giving them their independence at the same time. Also is it normal to want their relationship to fail so we get another chance? I need advice, big time.

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75% Normal
Based on 61 votes (46 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Ldizzy1234
    12 years ago

    Yeah, I think its normal you want their relationship to fail, and honestly, it sounds like its going to. And by the way he goes back to inform you about his relationship with her, how they're doing, whether they're on the rocks or not, makes me believe he still has feelings for you. There is really no doubt about it, he says he loves her, because deep inside he really WANTS to love her, but he actually really loves you. Thats at least what it sounds like to me. He probably thinks by saying it to you, it will convince not only you that he "loves her" but hopefully it will convince him that he "loves her" even though he really doesn't.

    I think he might be waiting for you to drop a little hint that you still have feelings for him too. He runs to back to you, and that makes it almost seem like he's just waiting for something to happen between them. He's waiting for it to fall. I think sooner or later the girl is gonna realize how much he runs back to you to tell you stuff, and shes probably gonna get uncomfortable about the relationship you two have, and think somethings going on. She'll call it off.

    I don't think its right to get in between two people who are already in a relationship, whether its bumpy or not. But his relationship with her is just not gonna last. Its sad, but its kinda obvious he still wants you. Unless he just really favors your advice, and opinions more. So he runs to you to tell you whats going on in hopes that you could help him out. This is hard, but maybe you should hint that you like him still.(If you do.) See what happens. Or you could say to him that he really doesn't have to tell you every little problem between them because its really none of your business. And see what he says. He might tell you that he tells you all his dirt b/c he really cares about what you think.

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  • TrinityFairchild
    12 years ago

    I can honestly say that I do still harbour feelings for him, and he knows that. I don't want to see everyone else in relationships that fail. Im not trying to get any sympathy from anyone, all Im asking is if this is a normal thing that happens to people. I have had 2 chances with him, what it was however that ruined the relationship in the first place was myself since I was in a bad spot with my life and had been hurt before, not wanting to get hurt again. I really do hope they work out, but its like there is a small part of me that wants the relationship to fail so I can get another chance, which he has already said that should it not work out with her, I have first claim on him, so he puts it.

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    • Racoon
      12 years ago

      Well, in this case BOTH of you should be honesy enough to ;
      a) make him break up with the other girl since he's just using her as a rebound..it is very unrespectful for the girl

      b) take some time OFF (both of you) to work out the personal issues that got in the way

      c) try again, with a more realistic and mature approach to make it work

      OR

      d) be honest with yourself, do you love him or you just can't get over your first love (not him, the relationship)?

      Because as you,ll get older , you will figure out that sometimes you stick into a situation because you miss the FEELING you got during this time and not the actual partner.

      Hope it helps

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  • SoCal
    12 years ago

    yours didn't work out so you want everybody else's to fail, is that it?

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  • Racoon
    12 years ago

    It feels like you are trying to get sympathy out of us but this makes you look like a bitter ex.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    You had your chance.

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