Is it normal to want nothing to do with this guy?

82% Normal
5 Comments

A guy I was really good friends with in high school tried to get in touch with me to hang out, but I don't want to. We were really good friends up until 11th grade, which is when he completely stopped talking to me when he found out I was an atheist. This hurt me really badly, because he was one of the first people I told this to. (I live in a very small southern town, so most people are very Christian) I feel like this happening him was some sort of trigger that started my awful social anxiety.
I'm obviously not blaming him for all my issues, but what he did played a role in starting them. After that, in 12 grade, I started getting worse, I stopped trusting anyone and felt out of place suddenly. When I started college and I just more anxious, I didn't make any new friends, and ended up losing touch with the few I had left from high school. I'm not still angry at him, but I don't want to reconnect... Thinking of him just brings up awful memories, and I just.. I don't know, is it unfair to ignore him?

Voting Results
82% Normal
Based on 17 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    Your not obligated to reconnect with someone who just stops talking to you for whatever reason.

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  • Short4Words
    8 years ago

    I don't think so. If there's no desire to connect you shouldn't force it or try to pretend for the sake of his feelings.

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  • victorygin
    8 years ago

    Putting your own feelings and ultimately your own mental health first; no that's definitely not unfair. If you don't want to see him, then it's fine not to.
    But, it could be an opportunity for either him to apologise, or to at least begin to appreciate the effect his actions had on you. Also, seeing him again may put the past into perspective for you, as well.

    There's no guarantee it will be a healthy encounter, though. Maybe he will be a total jerk, who knows. So I think it's understandable that you don't want to reconnect. As long as you realise that it's a sign you're probably a bit too burdened by the past. But I'm sure you already know that, and it's understandable as well.

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  • Unimportant
    8 years ago

    You have the right to choose who you would like to reconnect with, or not.

    That being said, it is a bit unfortunate, because I remember being in high school. I was pretty dick-ish, just like your friend seems to have been. Maybe he got wiser.

    Than again, maybe not. It is your choice, don't feel like you have to do something.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    I don't see how one incident with a childhood friend would cause you so much pain. Be that as it may, perhaps seeing him will help put some closure to all that and allow you to move forward. Obviously you are not living the life you wanted and maybe this could change things.

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