Is it normal to want my boyfriend to love me the way he used to?

59% Normal
14 Comments

I have been with my boyfriend since nov 2008 he Is my first boyfriend. He recently told me I am obsessed with him, and that I'm way to clingy.
It makes me sad to hear that he feels this way. I honestly think he is wrong. He said we hangout to much that we dont need to everyday. (we havent in th past three days) he keeps saying he just wants to relax and have his time. I don't think he needs three days if this. I asked him if he wanted to hangout and he said yes but wHat would we do. I said we will figure it out when I'm there and he said no.
I said let's just smoke and be together and he said he didn't want to.
Yet he texts me that his two friends r coming over to smoke. Like cool u can hangout with them but not with me.... I don't get it.

So I want him to think I'm not obbssed wIth him. I don't text him unless he texts me and I try to not say to much. Some times i call him when he doesn't reply but that just makes him mad.
He says I ask for to much and live in a fantasy world.
I was just sad bc he stopped saying goodnight or goodmorning to me like one or two months ago. He justdoesnt care. And I hate it when I see him for the first time in three days and he doesn't even get off his computer to hug me and say hi.

I just don't know what to do.
He used to be obsessed with me and always said he wanted to marry me. But he stopped all that.
When ppl ask how long we have been dating he says allmos three yeArs and he rolls his eyes like it's a bad thing. .

We allwYs hangout on his time. When he wants to but never when I do. Like if I goto my friends and he wants to hangout he makes me leave them to be with him.

I just want him to want me and to not think that I'm clingy

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 39 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • AngAnders112
    12 years ago

    Just from reading this, to me you seem a little obsessive and clingy. Back off a bit. Give him some space. If that doesn't work, then maybe it's time to move on.

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  • sparky555
    12 years ago

    it started when we were**

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  • sparky555
    12 years ago

    Omg, I went through the same thing with my boyfriend. It start before we were dating for about nine months. He acted like that for a while, but I think it was just just a phase because we've been together for almost four years now and things are goin great. So just hang in there (as much as it sucks) and give him some space, do your own thing and hopefully things will work out.

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  • TyLee
    12 years ago

    Wow!!!! Please leave him! Please I'm seriously begging you to leave because I feel so bad for you! Your bf is HORRIBLE!!!!

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  • georgienne
    12 years ago

    My boyfriend was kind of like this last year.
    First year we were together often and went out every now and then, last year we started hanging out more frequently and he grew to know me more.
    He found that seeing me so often made it kind of impersonal and no longer 'a treat' as he knew he'd see me that day. We took a little break and this year he went on a two week trip without me, now he hasn't seen his friends in ages and wants to be together all the time.
    Let him have his breather, it should revive things.

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  • Purple33
    12 years ago

    I'm hoping this is just a stage he's going threw. I am going to concentrate more on me and my life, rather than always wanting to be with him. I don't know why I always want to be with him. It just makes me so happy but it's like why do I want to be at his house so badly when were just going to sit there. And I'm going to California for 8 days soon so hopefully that'll make him miss me and want me more.

    I had a talk with him today about how I was feeling and he said he just has a feeling I'm going to want to be with him all the time a couple days before o go to California so he wanted to have this week alone. Which totally makes since. That is true I go on July 25th and I will wanna see him alot before I'm gone for so long.
    Thanks for all the comments :)

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  • dappled
    12 years ago

    You and he have different ideas of how the relationship should be conducted. You think you should make time for each other, and he prefers to keep things how he wants them. You can't both get your own way but it sounds like he's having it all his own way at the moment. He needs to at least make an attempt to do things for you. You two need to talk about this (although don't bank on him putting in much effort there, either).

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  • TheIntellect
    12 years ago

    Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

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    • Purple33
      12 years ago

      True :)

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  • pixie_dust
    12 years ago

    it doesnt look good for u, dear. im sorry but you need to think in terms of yourself with othet men. if that seems like an impossibility then I tjink thats where yourvproblem lies. if that is the case, then you have grown too dependant on him. before when he treated u like u miss, you werent so dependant wete u? back then, u could have envisioned yourself with other guys, am I right?? THERE is the root of your problem. you have to love yourself more than any guy. so, take some of 'his' alone time and start working on yourself. like start working out, start doing things for yourself. fuck him (figuratively) & realize youre awesome and enjoy going out on your own!

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    • Purple33
      12 years ago

      I have always been somewhat dependent on him but I usedto enjoy my alone time too. I'd gt a new computer game or something and not even need to be with him.
      I could never see myself with another guy and I never could of I honestly don't even see othe guys as guys they r just ppl to me.

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  • SilverVII
    12 years ago

    You are no-one to judge how much time he needs for himself. You said "He doesn't need 3 days to be on his own". Well that shows you are clingy, because he obviously does need that much time or more, and if you want to be with him you must respect that. Also, it is perfectly normal that he wants to hang out with his friends without you, this does not mean he doesn't want you, it means he likes being with his friends exclusively sometimes. Thinking you are the center of his world will just make things worse. I can feel from what you say, that he is already pretty tired of your absorbent attitude. Maybe instead of saying "I don't want him to think I am clingy" you should say "I want to stop being so clingy".

    I feel sorry for you because you are obviously more dependent on him than he is on you, but in most relationships it is like that. Men like time with their pals and on their own that girls. That's how it works.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    He probably just wants time to hang out with his friends and have a little bit of alone time. We all need alone time at some point, some more than others. By reading the rest, maybe he's just tired of you (I'm not trying to be mean) maybe he's tired of your relationship. People change. Maybe try to not have any contact for a while and see if he will be the one coming to you. If he doesn't, well I think the answer should be clear to you. Personally, I don't mind clingyness, in fact, I adore it. It's what I want. I know A LOT of people hate it though and he might be one of them. Anyways, try what I said and I hope he will be the one calling you to be together. Oh and him not even getting up from his computer to say hi and kiss/hug and whatever else, I just find it so extremely sad for him to even do that to you. Good luck with him and I hope things will get better for you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    That's completely normal. But seriously if your not one of his top priorities an you've been dating that long, that should tell you something

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