Is it normal to wake up with someone having sex with you or is it rape?

41 Comments

This happened, twice with two different people being the non sleeping party, is it normal or at least common?
Someone I know had these experiences the first time as a 19 year old vigin second time a few years later.
First time after a night out and a lot of alcohol went back to the house of someone they knew . Next thing they new was waking up to find that person on top of them having unprotected sex. I imagine they went up to bed together without force , there had been a sexual encounter before but not 'full sex'. The genitals were a bit sore with slight damage after.
Second time was same scenario but there had been oral play , then fell asleep to wake up with the other on top having full unprotected sex. Fell asleep again ,the other continued ,woke up again to find the other dismounting.

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Comments ( 41 )

SkullsNRoses

4 years ago | pl

Both of these are rape.

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Nikclaire

4 years ago | pl

An unconscious person cannot give consent, period.

Even a massively intoxicated person is unable to consent.

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- CozmoWank
  
  4 years ago
  
  Tell that to the space aliens and their damn probe.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  So you are saying it is rape then?
  
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  - Nikclaire
    
    4 years ago
    
    I'm saying that the person having sex with an unconscious person, would be opening themselves up to being found guilty of rape, if the other party pursued it. Regardless of what, if anything, transpired prior to the act.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      I just realised after reading another reply that people assumed the rapists were men, they weren't. Both beautiful ,talented young women. Pls see my other reply.
      
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      - Nikclaire
        
        4 years ago
        
        Really because I don't see a reference to man or women in any response so far.
        
        Of course someone who has me blocked may have responded.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        4 years ago
        
        See post below , it starts "He's probably a psychopath"
        
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RoseIsabella

4 years ago

Sex without consent is rape, one person forcing sex upon another person is rape.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  But it may be or even have been difficult to persue.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    4 years ago
    
    Unfortunately this is true
    
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  OK. I'm just realizing about the irony of it, on of the people who did the raping (the rapist) is now a successful big city lawyer.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    4 years ago
    
    He's probably a psychopath. Lots of successful people unfortunately have no conscience, or empathy for others, and will do anything to get what they want.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      I'm sorry that you assumed this was man, but what you said holds true regardless of the sex of the offender. Both of these rapists were actually beautiful young women. One became an international model and had played sport at a very high level.
      
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      - raisinbran
        
        4 years ago
        
        Are you female?
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        4 years ago
        
        Why the hell should that matter?
        
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libertybell

4 years ago

Rape.

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Wellyoudliketoknoweh

4 years ago

Could you have been drugged?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  The person wasn't drugged just drank a lot and was very tired already.
  
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  - Wellyoudliketoknoweh
    
    4 years ago
    
    But falling asleep like that isn’t really normal
    I only know that from when I have to take medication or something
    
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Anonymous Post Author

4 years ago

If it was rape should these cases, even though they took place years ago, be reported.

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- Nikclaire
  
  4 years ago
  
  In the U.S there are different statutes of limitations for every state.
  
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Feedthepony

4 years ago

Whatever you do don't feel dirty that tramp was they dirty ,sick, evil pervert and don't pay attention to the "men" on here talking like you should have liked it.

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- Feedthepony
  
  4 years ago
  
  How long ago was it ?these rapists may still prey on drunk young men. You should atleast report them.
  
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Boojum

4 years ago

First, I'm a guy, so that affects my perspective on this.

I would never have penetrative sex with a woman unless I was sure she was consenting. If we had been fooling around sexually and there were unequivocal signals that we were heading for penetrative sex, but we both dozed off before that happened, then I'd probably attempt to resume things if I later woke up. That has actually happened to me before, but I didn't just climb onboard while she was asleep. I've never enjoyed sex with inert, passive partners, and I want women to be at least drowsily awake and giving definite signs that she's happy about what we're doing. If she should make it clear she isn't interested, I let it be.

However, if the positions were reversed and I woke up having penetrative sex, I wouldn't mind that all. I definitely wouldn't consider myself a victim, and I wouldn't call it rape.

Part of the reason this sort of thing is so contentious is that people would like there to be clear, black and white rules. The reality is that it involves two particular people with their own particular histories, attitudes and preferences in a particular situation at a particular place and time.

You're free to consider yourself a victim of something horrible and abusive if you choose to do so. If you like, you can allow yourself to become obsessed with the events and let the experiences warp your perceptions of women, or you can find some way to come to terms with what happened and move forward. Your choice.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Ahh, thank you for the usual rubbish that is always said to rape victims. Yeah 'move forward' , 'feel free to consider yourself a victim' thanks for that but then you went on in a condescending manner making it clear that you(and your type) believe to 'move on' would be the thing to do.
  
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  - Boojum
    
    4 years ago
    
    I guess waving your victim flag and squealing that you're a casualty of toxic feminism or some such crap gives you a hobby, but it seems to me that isn't a positive use of your time.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      Would you talk like this to a female rape victim? What if the man was gay?
      
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    4 years ago
    
    Some things I didn't mention. The victim (first case) only woke up because the rapeists pregnant 16 year old sister came into the room saying "stop that, do you want to end up like me!" The shock , as a virgin,of waking up to find ones self inside another was quite enough. Then there was the fact of there being someone else in the room arguing. Then then pain was noticed(penis was cut bleeding slightly). Then the discovery that there had been no protection used.
    You would have found all this good fun "as a guy" virgin?
    
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raisinbran

4 years ago

It's rape and the person should be prosecuted but maybe don't get in bed with someone drunk to the point of passing out.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  As usual with, it's the victims fault.
  
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  - raisinbran
    
    4 years ago
    
    No, that's your absolutist interpretation of my comment.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      No you said this person shouldn't get drunk in case some pervert rapes them. What you said is more or less this. Maybe we should wear Chastity belts to incase someone rapes us?
      
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to wake up with someone having sex with you or is it rape?