Is it normal to threaten to kill your child when you lose your patience?

My husband has a history of domestic abuse towards me. Mostly emotional, sometimes physical. When our daughter was 6 months old, I heard him say "I'm gonna fucking kill you one of these days" because she wouldn't stop crying. He swears that he didn't mean it, that he was just losing his patience with her. She has gotten on my very last nerve a few times, but I have NEVER threatened to hurt her in any way. Is it normal for him to say these kinds of things to her?

Voting Results
10% Normal
Based on 81 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • You should consider packing your stuff and taking your daughter to a safer home.

    While trying at times, nothing a six month old does justifies that response. It's not personal, and anyone who reacts that way is dangerous.

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  • Avant-Garde

    Leave him or if not, at least give your child to Child Protective Services or a trusted relative and get a lawyer. This may is a danger to your child. You have also failed your child by not getting her out of a potentially dangerous situation. If you care about your child, why are you being so stupid as to stay with someone this dangerous? If he kills her, you'll probably get partial blame for failing to do anything to prevent this.

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    • Survivor88

      I am leaving him. I was just wondering if it's normal to say stupid things like this when you're frustrated.

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      • RoseIsabella

        It's not normal for most people but probably quite normal for an abuser to be verbally abusive.

        Just out of curiosity, did he abuse drugs and alcohol and or come from a family with a history of abuse and addiction?

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        • Survivor88

          His parents were alcoholics, his dad is still abusive, and my husband used to drink like an alcoholic. He stopped drinking and swore things would get better, and they did until after we got married... Which is why I'm leaving

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          • RoseIsabella

            Good for you! Get a good lawyer and don't look back.

            I do believe people can change but, honestly if someone is abusive to me, my family or my friends I give no second chances. I figure that person can get a fresh start somewhere else with someone else.

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  • If you love your daughter you will leave him.

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    • RoseIsabella

      Hello reality!
      *big paws up*
      ;-)

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  • kelili

    Sometimes people say this without meaning. I don't think that this is on this site that you'll get answers to your problems.

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  • Freedom_

    I guess I'd have to know the guy. If it's you're first child he might not have known how to censor himself properly. I would never say this, personally, but i have said some pretty stupid things in the learning process.

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  • Mersaphe

    He's just joking.

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  • GeeGees

    No he is a hateful prick and not to be trusted around your precious daughter.

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  • Cellbiologyphiliac

    Yes it would be normal for him to do this since he is emotionally abusive and also physically abusive. But, I would suggest to you that you take your daughter to your parents or other relatives to temporarily live until you gain enough courage to pack your bags and leave this man. My mother got with a man who did NOTHING but emotionally, physically, and sexually abuse her after she divorced my dad and I was about two years old at the time. Prior to this, I was told that I was a normal, happy, well adjusted person but after being witness to all the abuse, even at a young age, I became withdrawn and afraid, and I developed a lot of emotional and self-esteem issues. Also, to make it worse, once I got up to about the age of three or four, my step-dad began to emotionally, physically, and sexually abuse me too. Now, I KNOW how hard it is to leave someone like this because I was in a relationship with a man for four years who was JUST like my step-father and it took every fiber of my being to get enough courage to tell him to get fucked and leave for good (luckily, I didn't have children with this guy). But, I know that you care deeply for your child and I know that you probably want her to get with a good man instead of a loser or abuser, and I know that you don't want her to undergo what you've had to go through, so PLEASE get your daughter out of the situation before she becomes a casualty to this and irreversible mental damage is done to her because even after 20+ years, I am STILL in therapy over what happened to my mom and I, and I am STILL struggling with low self-esteem and self-worth issues. I KNOW that it will kill you to have to send your child off to live with a relative, but it's way better for the child to be out of the abusive situation even if you are unable to at this time--you HAVE to think of the child's welfare before you think or your own. PLEASE do the right thing, even if your husband doesn't agree and you risk getting beat for it--your child is your future!

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  • LC50

    First off if you husband is abusive with you and you stay with him then he's not the only one with isuse, but to tell your child that he will kill them not only is that a crime it should also be a wake up call for you.
    the first thing you need to do is call the police and report him then you should take your child are childern and get away from him.
    Dont play around with this, it could cost you yours and your childrens lives.

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  • Here_To_Help_You

    My Mum used to threaten to kill me. Get you and your kid out of there, seriously.

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  • Psoriano

    You should have left him was before that. I don't know why you didn't, but you're still on time to do it.

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  • ucipher8

    If hes abusive emotionally, sounds like hes putting that onto your child as well, and at a young age. I'd kill him first

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  • highrider

    What kind of mother with a child stays with a man who's known for domestic abuse?

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    • YourMomSaysHello

      Women don't care about their children. All they care about is to satisfy their own needs.
      The man is probably good in bed.

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      • Survivor88

        I am leaving him, and no he's not good in bed

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        • RoseIsabella

          Right on, I wish you all the best"

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        • YourMomSaysHello

          Well that must be the real reason why you leave him. I'm sure it's not because of how he treats the child.

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          • Survivor88

            Wow you're a fucking idiot. If that was the reason then why the fuck wouldn't I have left years ago?

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            • RoseIsabella

              Just ignore and thumb down the troll if you have the option.

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      • highrider

        Use a vibrator.

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  • Flaze

    Why would you even think of marrying someone like that? Are you a young couple? If so I think you should definitely seek some help about his temper.

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