Is it normal to think that you owe the person who saves your life everything?:

52% Normal
11 Comments

i was suicidal in January 2012. i had a friend who was there at the right time and he talked to me and convinced me that i should not take my own life and he made me feel loved and like i had a greater purpose than taking my life and that i would be missed and that everyone would not be better off without me being around.

But now i feel like i owe this person everything, i owe them my existence, i bend over backwards because i feel that i have to. they have given me a reason to live and i have to spend my life showing them how much gratitude i have.....i also feel like i always fall short as well......i don't feel like i do enough....i don't feel like i am enough......and i hate myself for it....but i will keep trying to please them until the day i die.......because that is now my purpose in life.

is it normal to feel this way?

Voting Results
52% Normal
Based on 50 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago | pl

    I think you missed the whole point of getting a second chance at life.
    Why are you once again trying to destroy any possibility of it being an enjoyable one? In several Eastern religions it is the one who saves the life that has the responsibility for the other.
    Chill. Get on with your life and don't muddle up your mind with all this crap. It is still your life, not his, so go have a bit of fun.

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    • valisque
      10 years ago

      what he said.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    He might have given you some compelling reasons to continue on and that's great he was kind enough to do so. Ultimately though, you were the one who choose to turn around. By placing all of the responsibility on him for your continued existence, you're short-changing yourself severely. You deserve to take some ownership in your own survival.

    It's great that you appreciate him, but you also have to appreciate yourself too. Not appreciating yourself enough is what brought you so low that you wanted to die. Learning to recognize your strengths as often as your saw your failings will take time and practice. You deserve to thrive and be happy like everybody else.

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    • Holzman_67
      10 years ago

      wonderful comment, well articulated.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Thanks. That means a lot coming from you. (:

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        • Holzman_67
          10 years ago

          I was going to write a comment to this but you said everything I was going to say and much better than I was going to say it :)

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  • Ilovewinter12
    10 years ago

    There was a episode about this on Hey Arnold.
    In the end, Arnold got tired of Sid doing everything for him, and then Sid saved Arnold's life, so they were even.

    What I'm saying is that you shouldn't become somebody's slave just because they saved your life. Sure, be nice to them, like all friends are, but don't become a slave, because then, what kind of life do you have?

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  • ex_lumber
    10 years ago

    thats called codependency

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      would it also be codependency if i check myself into a mental institution and give all of my rights and free will away to the doctors and allow them to tell me what i should be doing, thinking, acting, and hand over every aspect of what makes me, me......in order to get well?

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  • basalt
    10 years ago

    They were just trying to help you. It's as simple as that. Don't overthink it.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    no

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