Is it normal to think i should not be in a relationship because i am depressed?

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17 Comments

Everywhere you hear it....you should not be in a relationship until you can love yourself. If you have depression, its impossible to love yourself. Therapy & meds only do so much. Curing yourself so that your can love yourself, to be able to pursue a relationship seems impossible. Do people who suffer from long term depression deserve love, if they are unable to love themselves?

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 20 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    9 years ago

    People who have never suffered from depression say that. Like they are some kind of fucking expert.

    Ignore these idiots.

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  • chained_rage
    9 years ago

    Fine. Then don't love yourself. Get someone else to love you.
    Maybe that will open your eyes and you'll come to the realisation that if you are good enough to be loved by someone else, then you might be good enough to love yourself.

    Being loved and feeling wanted, in my opinion, is the best medicine for fucked up people :)

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I have no idea where you are hearing that crap, but I do believe, where ever it, is you shouldn't go there any more.
    I can't think of a better way to lift oneself from depression than to have a partner and best friend at your side, to be there for you when needed.

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    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      I couldn't agree more, gypsysailor. I think it would be fair to tell the other person from the start that you have depression, just as I would tell them if I had diabetes or, in my case, emphysema.

      I've known quite a few couples who were both depressed but working on it when they first became involved and who've helped heal each other

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  • DubstepismyMJ
    9 years ago

    "If you have depression, its impossible to love yourself."

    Do you even know how negatively exaggerated this is? What your basically saying is once your depressed you can never ever get out of it, so your basically fucked for life.

    The problem with you is your very negative. You need to learn to change your negative vocabulary with the complete opposite. Our own indivual words effect us the most.
    For example, if someone called you "fat" or "dumb" the only way it can really hurt you is if you actually believe in those words.

    What words you choose to believe in will effect you tremendously.

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    • Unimportant
      9 years ago

      "The problem with you is you're very negative."

      Yeah, that is kind of typical for, you know, being depressed. Which was the OP's point to beginn with.

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      • DubstepismyMJ
        9 years ago

        obviously. But it doesn't mean they're actually aware of how negative they are.

        Being depress is like looking through a very dark and cloudy glass. Everything looks more bleak than it should be and its hard to see anything clearly.

        There are a lot of "obvious" things a stable mind can see, that is not so easily seen by the depressed.

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  • charli.m
    9 years ago

    I've had depression since my mid teens, probably earlier. Best thing in my life has been meeting my boyfriend. I might not love myself yet, but I know that he makes me a better person and I want to be a better person for him. He loves me unconditionally (for reasons I will never understand), and that total acceptance has been very healing.

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  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    Everyone deserves love.
    Its just best to learn to love yourself first before you also give someone else love.... its not about others giving you love...its about you being well enough to give others your love.
    But you deserve love :)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      what if you can't love yourself and you don't think its ever going to happen? wouldn't it be selfishness to allow anyone to fall in love with you then?

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      • reminiscent
        9 years ago

        You cant stop other people from falling in love with you... so no not selfish.
        you are right about therapy only doing so much... you have to want it...to want to love yourself and want change in order for it to work. With a more positive attitude you can say it will happen! Its hard to go from negative to positives. ..hard work...but if you take little steps I think anyone could do it.

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      • Riddler
        9 years ago

        You are correct, if you are in a state of depression you should sort yourself out before you try to bring anyone into a relationship.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    Life is a journey, not a destination.

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  • MaximumLove
    9 years ago

    Depression. Why is this a massively increasing pandemic. Is it cool to be sad these days? Pull your head out of your arse, life is awesome, change your specs, be grateful. Life isn't fair - it's LIFE! Stop tranquilizing yourself with pills.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H3Az0okaHig

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    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      Nothing like some superficial bullshit to cure other people's depression with a snap of the fingers, eh?

      OP didn't say s/he is on medication for depression, read the post before you respond with knee jerk reactions which help no-one except yourself now feeling superior to people with a legitimate illness.

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    • charli.m
      9 years ago

      You clearly don't know what clinical depression is. Not "I feel a little bit sad sometimes" or "life's not fair imma sulk". Legitimate mental health issue, you cockspank.

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      • Ellenna
        9 years ago

        Great reply, I totally agree

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