Is it normal to tell a girl to cease contact because you like her so much?

68% Normal

I have had a crush on this acquaintance girl that has now become a little too strong to handle. She is all I care about in class and not the actual course material. We chat in class and text every now and then. Yesterday she didnt reply to me for hours and it messed up my day, and when she did 8 hours later, it cheered me up. This is unacceptable and such BS. I am a smart, super confident guy and 5 years older than her in age and experience but I become dumb when she is around me or talking to me. Like I'll put in my credit card in the cash slot of the vending machine and get puzzled standing there why it won't go in.

I am thinking to tell her that I have a pretty big crush on her and if we can keep our distance from each other, I would hugely appreciate it. There is only a month left in the semester anyway after which I should automatically get over her. Of course when I do tell her I wont do it in the same serious way I write this thread. We joke all the time, and I will keep it lighthearted. Or I can tell her I like her and request her to reject me.

I cant think of another way to control this situation. Can you?

Voting Results

68% Normal

Based on 19 votes (13 yes)

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Comments ( 13 )

CountessDouche

9 years ago

Yes, having strong feelings for someone is scary. There's risk involved. Trust me, I know, but I think you'll regret making the safe choice. If you're going to cut off contact with her either way, you may as well take the chance; the results won't be any different if she doesn't share your feelings.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Twisted part is I am not scared to be rejected, I would actually love that. I can handle rejection very well. Regrets are self-corrosive, but they are something you can still handle.
  
  What is rather scary is if she likes me back. Which I suspect she does. Needless to say I have issues.
  
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  - CountessDouche
    
    9 years ago
    
    I actually sympathize more than you know. I'm a person that takes a lot of risks in life, but, at the same time, I'm a person who is incredibly guarded when it comes to my emotions. For me, having actual feelings for someone is incredibly stressful. I create a huge amount of anxiety attempting to talk myself out of feelings that I can't control.
    
    Ultimately, I think it's a matter of being able to trust yourself with the possible consequences...and I don't mean initial rejection, which is easy enough to get over; I mean things not working out once you actually invest your feelings...that's the ultimate risk.
    
    Anything worth having, anything you really want, will involve an investment, a real fucking risk...no matter if we're talking life goals or love. It's really easy to distance yourself from that risk, to stay in your comfort zone, but honestly, you won't get what you want out of life if you do that. So yeah, you could walk away, and wonder what could have been, or you could go for it...that's really your decision. You have to decide how much you want the possibility of a good outcome, how much you're willing to gamble for it.
    
    I did it...well I'm doing it, and I'm scared shitless, but it's fucking worth it.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      You're such a sweetheart. Thanks a lot for the elaborate response. It really gives me a lot of perspective and proper direction. Cheers
      
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      - CountessDouche
        
        9 years ago
        
        :) aww, thanks! Good luck on whatever you decide. Personally, I hope you go for it. You sound like a boss cunt hahahaha.
        
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    What the hell? You like her but you want to be rejected? You are afarid of her liking you back? Why are you being so illogical? It hurts my head.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      It seems illogical, but isnt. I dont know the answer why I am being this way, but can whip up possible reasons: Fear of committment, fear of intimacy, fear of immediately getting over her if she does admit she likes me back, pride in not wanting to be attracted to a girl a lot more than she is attracted to me, being egotistical in believing I can do better than her. Who knows. Maybe a combination of all of the above.
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        9 years ago
        
        So basically you don't want a relatinship right now? That's fine, but you should keep her around in case you do later. Also it's always good to have female friends. If you are both still single in the future and decide you want a relatinship in the future, then you will still have her around. It is important to make life long friends. Don't throw them away over illogical nonsense.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        Good advice mate. Thanks
        
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shuggy-chan

9 years ago

Just grow a part and ask her, or flat out exclaim" you know i like/crush/love ya right?"

Just get it out of the way. Or this shit will haunt you bro.

You'll just let it slid and then you always have that "what if"

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thegypsysailor

9 years ago

How about growing up instead of trashing what might be the best thing ever to happen to you?
Come on, I know you can do it. Really, you're not in 4th grade any more.

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megadriver

9 years ago

Dude, grab the bull by the horns! Ask her out, make her your girlfriend and rock the night with her!
None of this "if you love someone, let them go" crap.
Never let go, you like a woman, she has feelings, go for it!

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Darkoil

9 years ago

You could always shag her.

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Is it normal to tell a girl to cease contact because you like her so much?