Is it normal to stay in this relationship so your child can have a real family?

My husband and I dated for 5years before getting married last summer. He got me out of a bad relationship where my ex choked me and threw me across the room during an argument. When we first started dating (my husband and I) everything seemed great. I was only 18 going on 19 years old, so we would party and drink all the time. After a few months, he started to change. We would argue all the time because he never trusted me to do anything or go anywhere without him. He became very possessive and controlling. I couldn't see my friends because he thought they were sluts (but they weren't), I couldn't hang around ANY guys without him because he was convinced I would cheat on him. If I tried to wear clothes that weren't baggy, he would get very angry and say "who the f--- you trying to impress?" And would think I'm dressing that way to get guys to cheat with. If I was at a family members house for more than an hour, he would blow up my phone with messages telling me I've been gone too long and I need to come home right away. He wouldn't let me walk or take a bus anywhere, he HAD to take me anywhere I wanted to go just to make sure I was going where I said I'd go. He would always call me stupid for not knowing every single word in his vocabulary, and call me a nasty whore every chance he got just because I've dated black guys in the past. I never had sex with them, but I'm still a nasty whore to him. I have never cheated on him and I don't ever plan on it. No matter what I did or said, it was never good enough for him to trust me. I got sick of him telling what I can and can't do, so one night I went to a friends house. Of course, within an hour, he was calling me to see what I was doing and make sure that I wasn't drinking without him being there to watch me. My friends little brother (5years younger than me) was there and he heard him talking in the background. Of course, he flipped out, started making all these accusations and rushed over to demand I come home immediately. My friends tried desperately to convince me to leave him because of all of this, but i was so stupid thinking I was totally in love with him and didn't want to leave him. I regret going home with him that night. Things would've been so much different. Anyway, there were a few nights that we were arguing about stuff, and he actually hit me. He blamed it all on the alcohol like he does every time he has hit me. I usually hit him right back when he hits me so that I feel like we're even with it. He always swore he'd never do it again, but months later, it would always happen again. He didn't like go on a rampage and beat the crap out of me. He would either shove me into walls or punch me just once. I talked to an old teacher about it, and she told me I should leave him. I was all set to leave him, but he had gone through my phone and found the message between the teacher and I. He broke down crying, told me he'd stop drinking and would never hit me again if I just gave him one more chance. Of course, my stupid self gave him another chance. He didn't hit me again until after we got married and I had a baby. By that time, all of his psychological abuse had totally changed the person I am, and I hate it when I actually sit here and think about it. I got pregnant before our wedding, and his psychological abuse was so intense that i thought the stress it was causing would affect the baby. Thank god it didn't. If I wasn't pregnant, I would've called off the wedding and left him, but I wanted my daughter to have a real family (something I never had). About 2 months after my daughter was born, my husband and I started arguing one night. I don't remember what it was about, but he just kept screaming at me while I was trying to feed the baby. He actually punched me as hard as he could in my leg, which left a huge bruise for over a month. He agues that he didn't punch me, that he pushed my leg away, but the bruise was the exact size of his fist. Anytime we have an argument, he can never just talk about it like an adult. He has to scream at me and tell me "I'm screaming cuz you don't listen to me!" But what he means by "not listening" is that I'm not agreeing with him. I will admit, when our arguments escalate to yelling and screaming, if I tell him to calm down and stop screaming. If he doesn't, I will get so frustrated and throw something at him. I just want the screaming to stop. He refuses to do things around the house, and spends our bill money on crap he doesn't need. When I confront him about the money, he says "it's my money, I'll spend it on whatever I want." So our bills will go unpaid for months because we never have enough to pay them after he buys all this crap he doesn't need before paying the damn bills. We both work full time by the way. I don't know who to talk to about this because the women in my family act as if domestic abuse is a normal part of married life. I want my daughter to have a real family, but I'm also afraid that she's going to grow up thinking what my husband and I do in our relationship is healthy. I know it's not healthy, but I'm too afraid to leave for financial reasons. I can't even afford a baby sitter with our combined incomes. We work separate shifts so we don't need a baby sitter right now. I'm also afraid of my family finding out about the abuse. I feel ashamed for letting this happen to me. I feel like there's no one to talk to about it. I'm also afraid of leaving because my husband has threatened to take my daughter away if I ever divorce him because I've struggled with depression and anger issues. I will NEVER hurt my own children. My husband that has hurt me is one thing, but never will I hurt my own baby. Sometimes I feel like I'm just waiting for him to hit me again, so that I have an excuse to leave now that I feel like a stronger woman. I don't know if it's right to just leave for past domestic violence, since he hasn't hit me in almost a year. He has threatened to slam my head into the car door, and I've heard him mumbling "ill f---ing kill you" which I immediately went up to him and punched the shit out of him for saying that stuff. He just stood there and took the punches like he didn't care. I don't know. Sometimes we have good days, and they're really really good, but mostly we have bad days where it's nothing but arguing and him screaming at me. Is this a normal part of married life? How would I even go about talking to someone I trust about this??? I have no idea where to start. Like I said, I feel so ashamed that I've let this happen to me and I'm afraid that whomever I trust enough to talk about it with is going to judge me or something.