Is it normal to speak of him in a good way even though i don't like him?

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6 Comments

So its been a few months since my bf and I broke up. It was messy and rough in the beginning of the breakup but eventually we grew the strength to not stay in touch although we remain on each other's social media AND he has messaged me a few times. I have to mention I haven't messaged him "first" at all...its been all him which is weird considering it was his idea to break up. So with that in mind, I started getting annoyed of him because why does he want to talk to me when he didn't want to be with me anymore? It's annoying whether hes doing it because he genuinely misses me or hes using me for closure and company when he has nobody. It's like make up your mind, you want me or you don't, you can't have best of both worlds. I began growing this resentment towards him not just cause of that but because of all the past messed up things hes done to me and it finally hit me and made me not like him. However, that hasn't stopped me from talking about him in a good way. Sometimes I even imagine being with him like when everything was good. Its weird because when Im talking good of him, at the same time I'm questioning in my head "why am I talking good about him? I hate him sooo?" but it feels okay to talk about him that way. So in a way, I dont know whats the truth; is he a bad guy or a good guy? he didn't treat me that great but he made me the happiest as weird as that sounds.

We're not together anymore but in a way theres hopes of rekindling, hence why we remain on each other's social media, but at the same time, it does feel like it should be completely over and if its meant to be, itll happen.

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 21 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    Basically, you miss him too.

    You're angry he's being flimsy about ending the relationship with you and playing your feelings like a yo-yo, but at the same time you still like him. You have to options:

    1. He's being indecisive and stringing you along. If you like him, and feel you two can make it work, the next time he contacts you, try to rekindle.

    2. Or, if you're done with how indecisive he's being, and you don't want to go backwards and repeat the same relationship with the same guy, tell him you need time to get over him and block his social media account, numbers, everything for a while.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      I do miss him but I am annoyed at how he thinks he can do anything he wants without any consequences. I think even though I just miss him and the good times, I can't be with him again unless a miracle happens. Even though I have him on social media, I don't bother checking up on him or contacting him but its him who comes to me and I dont even respond enthusiastically. So in a way, I have cut him off. However, when he does contact me, its not to say hi or check up on me, its more like a comment on something I posted so thats even more annoying. If hes contacting me because he misses me, he should just say it rather than commenting to gain a response from me just so he can hear from me. Btw, I have told him I need time and space, meaning no contact from him, to get over it and he was resisting to talk to me until he eventually gave in and started contacting me freely.

      To be honest, yes I'd like to rekindle but he needs to make the effort if he wants to give it another shot like he needs to actually say "I miss you and wanna give it another shot..." so until then, Im gonna have to avoid him like I have been.

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      • Tealights
        7 years ago

        To summarize what I read, you won't block him on Facebook or whatever because you basically want a relationship with this guy, but instead of confronting him, you rather wait for him to make the first move and the move he must make needs to be specific way.

        This is the same as watching paint dry. Why torment yourself? Just confront him or move on.

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  • Tobyrh
    7 years ago

    I think it's a good thing that you're talking good about him. Some people really say some mean and nasty things about their ex's, and I think they forget that they ever loved that person. Of course if bad stuff happen it's normal to talk bad about them, like cheating or manipulating.

    If you still have feelings for him you should just tell him. If he doesn't you should just let him go.

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  • AmberThorne
    7 years ago

    Honestly, I used to do the same about a guy I knew. Well, I probably still do. *WARNING: PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AHEAD!*
    I once thought he was this really nice and cool guy and I used to love talking to him, hanging out with him, etc. And then one day, he revealed his true colours and sacked me. I was broken for months and months on end. Maybe I still am, just not as much. After all, I've had feelings for him for about 9 years. If you want more of an elaboration on how I felt, just listen to "Kiss the Rain" by Yiruma. It says it all. I developed a deep resentment towards him, but I always talked about him in a good way.

    But really, I see it as a normal. I feel you.

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  • motherfuckersbrother
    7 years ago

    He just wants to fuck your sweet cunt and arse.

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