Is it normal to see a picture of a missing person and judge their looks?

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8 Comments

I have had this "thing" I've noticed that I do, and have done for a long time. When I see a picture of a missing person, adult or child, the first thing I think before admonishing myself and attempting to correct my thinking is: "well, he/she isn't that good looking, why would someone abduct them", or "why should people care as much if they're missing?" It's not a loud thought, but it immediately crosses my mind.

I startle myself with the thought, and think I'm really shallow and stupid for thinking such a thing, but I've noticed myself do it too much to just brush it off. What does it mean, I wonder?

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Based on 24 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Tealights
    5 years ago

    Normally, abductions are by someone the missing person knows or related to. So it isn't a matter of how good they look, but the story behind how that missing person impacted the abductor's life. Only a small % are stranger abductions.

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    • intrakitt
      5 years ago

      Not sure you totally get what I'm saying. Not only that, but I would like a citation (published, reliable source) on your "facts", because it sounds like bullshit. I know that the majority of murders are by people the victims know, but I don't believe that about abductions.

      Anyway, you couldn't have missed my question more if you had tried, so I'm wondering if you're just a wanna be know-it-all who sits around and makes up facts to make themselves feel important, or an ignorant simpleton who is incapable of comprehending what you read. Either way, your answer literally wasted my time.

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  • TerriAngel
    5 years ago

    It's normal.
    You're just being honest about it.
    Most people lie to others, and themselves.
    We make visual judgements all the time.
    A lot are at the subconscious level.

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    I think it's normal to kinda size people up when you see them or see pictures of them, but the way you are thinking of it is kinda bad. I mean to think, "well, he/she isn't that good looking, why would someone abduct them", or "why should people care as much if they're missing?", is really shallow and superficial. Also it's not like being abducted or kidnapped is an honor or a privilege. I mean shit, usually when someone is kidnapped the victim ends up being raped, tortured and murdered so what the Hell are you thinking?

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    • intrakitt
      5 years ago

      Well, yes. That's my exact point. But if you'd been detail oriented in reading my post, you would have noticed that I say to MYSELF basically "What the hell are you thinking?"

      I also say I think I'm shallow, so thanks for basically taking my entire post about myself, rearranging it a bit, and then making it seem as though you're smart enough to have come up with it yourself. You literally took everything I said and spit it back at me without hardly any new information, which is vapid, ignorant behavior. So thanks for that.

      And finally, and possibly most stupidly, you tell me, someone who admits being totally aware of just how fucked up the thinking is, that it's not an honor to be abducted. Really? I specifically say that the thought startles me. That obviously right when I catch myself thinking that, I admonish (do you even know what that word even means?) myself.

      But hey, thanks for playing. I'd give you a nice parting gift, but I ran out of piles of shit.

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        Butt hurt much?

        Maybe you're just a really shallow and superficial person? Just because you have enough insight to realize that your mode of thinking is jacked up doesn't mean you're thinking ceases to be jacked up, kid. Congratulations, you have a bit of insight, and that's a good thing, but your bitterness in regards to my response and the response Tealights is rather predictable for a self obsessed, narcissistic type.

        You have a very negative mode of thinking. I think you have sort of conditioned yourself to think this way. Try to have a more positive attitude of gratitude. For example TerriAngel is the only person so far who has said that you're normal, and basically agreed with you, but you haven't even taken the time to thank that person for their response. Instead you choose to focus on being angry with the people who don't agree with you, and nit pick about my response being not detailed enough. This sounds like a pervasive issue with you, your personality and how you see the world. You seem to focus on the negative almost entirely.

        I think the most normal response to a picture of an abducted person is to hope that the person is found alive!

        Maybe you just have a very critical way of looking at everything? Do you come from a very judgmental and critical family of origin where people spend a lot of time being critical of each other? Do people in your family of origin typically judge themselves, each other harshly?

        Do you want to feel and think differently when you see a picture of a missing or abducted person? You actually can if you want to do so. When you see a picture of a missing or abducted person you can recognize that you have those really shallow thoughts then come up with at least three to five thoughts that are different or challenging to your initial thoughts.

        Here are some examples of different or challenging thoughts:

        1.) I'm sure that person's mother doesn't think they're ugly.

        2.) I bet that person's friends miss them.

        3.) I imagine that person's family is worried sick.

        4.) I hope that person is okay.

        5.) I hope that person is found alive and well.

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        • intrakitt
          5 years ago

          Do you not get the concept of this site?

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          • RoseIsabella
            5 years ago

            Yes, I completely understand the concept of isitnormal.com, you however seem to be rather confused.

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