Is it normal to say no to every date offer i get

So I have been through a lot when it comes to relationships and been through the domestic violence situation 12 and a half years of it I've overcame drug addiction, I've been cheated on multiple relationships I've had miscarriages and the men have told me that they are not their children I've had children and men have skipped out and said that's not my baby just to be a single mother and unfortunately we have had problems with sexual abuse towards myself as a child an adult I've been raped and two of my children as well it's already been taken care of and reported and I regain custody of my children and everything else and we're still going through therapy and everything but it still hurts and I still have trust issues and anyhow what I'm getting at here is now I have chose to have higher standards in men I have chose to have better healthy boundaries and for the last five years I have been single and working on me and my children as well as trying to work on my inner self I have came to this perceived expectation in myself that if I want a better man husband and father figure for my children then therefore I need to be a better woman now that means better-looking healthy wise skinny which I am not (368lbs) education/booksmart which I am not because I am Street Smart cuz I grew up on the streets, plain and simple I'm little ghetto and the type of Woman that cooks and cleans around the house and treat your man like a king if he's deserving of it course. anyhow which in the last few years I am unable to do now due to the fact that I am disabled so with that in mind of me being disabled and as well as I have mental health problems, I feel inadequate and a see myself as a failure so how do I overcome these issues these perceived expectations and isitnormal for a woman to feel this way especially after getting her heart broken? And is it normal for women to trun down men right off the bat! How how do we know which ones are real which ones are just f****** around? What if I say no to the wrong one?