Is it normal to say goodbye to mary-jane... :(

I'm 20 years old and have been smoking weed on/off for three years. I went from smoking occasionally to being stoned about most of the week, as I began to feel as though getting stoned was like activating a happier, funnier and cooler part of myself. It occurred to me recently that one of the main reasons I enjoyed it in the first place was because it made me feel nostalgic. Also, because my sense of humour is important to me anyway, the fact that it was magnified by smoking weed was a huge attraction.
Despite the laziness it caused me, I managed to get myself accepted into university this summer, which is a really big deal because A) It is something my that family, certain ex-schoolteachers and even I struggled to believe I could ever do and B) No one in my family has ever been to university (upper-working-class, it's very much a leave-school-and-get-a-job attitude).
I've kept up the smoking most days of the week, even going into university whilst very stoned, despite the whole workload. Before I went to uni, I hated the idea of time-wasting students who didn't take the work seriously enough, because I knew how lucky they were whilst I was out working my crappy job and wondering about my prospects. As you can imagine, I am pretty disappointed with myself -handing in essays having written them the night before, etc. And during seminars, I find weed makes me anxious and afraid to talk, not to mention very self-conscious. I didn't speak to any of my peers properly until two weeks ago when this guy got talking to me and invited me out with some other students. Most of them find it funny when I tell them I was quiet because I'm a stoner, which brings back some of the light-heartedness of my situation to me.
However, I went out with this same guy and some friends the other night, got stoned and drunk and just couldn't help but act weird and immature - I'm so embarrassed, especially because I think this guy was unimpressed by my behaviour.
But on reflecting how much smoking weed has hindered me in my studies and social life, I feel like I should put the last joint out and leave the shit alone forever. Part of me doesn't want to NEVER get stoned again - that point will come when I get married and have kids surely. What should I do?
I've always been very neurotic even before weed - prone to long bouts of depression, always felt like a bit of an outsider - so I'm dreading coming down and the whole bleakness of reality crashing down on me.
Then there's the sentimentality connected to Mary-Jane; the part of myself who has made me laugh during and escape some of the low times in my life so far.
I know I won't find real happiness until I give it up, even if just for a while, for the fact that I'll never have the motivation to live up to my sober standards of myself and what I should be achieving from life. I guess I'm just beginning to feel that I will come to regret continuing with this whole stoner persona... IIN?

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57% Normal
Based on 28 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • DannyKanes

    Tl;dr

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  • I'm sorry you're in such a conundrum, you seem so torn by what's going on in your life.

    I toke daily, go to university, and maintain a 4.0 GPA or higher. I also have a healthy social life, a wonderful marriage, and have an amazing connection with my family.

    I'm sure there will be several anti-marijuana comments made on your post, but before they smear you post with their cretinous slander, I would like you to entertain the possibility that your problem comes from You and not necessarily the cannabis.

    You are still very young and you would experience a lot of the problems you describe regardless of your weed habit. Since you are having a difficult time in your life,it is smart to want to eliminate any distractions, including: weed, alcohol, coffee, sex, and sugary foods and drinks. You may even want to seek out some professional advice to help you through this confusing time.

    I hope you feel better soon, and remember that weed is great for most people, but that doesn't mean it's great for you.

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  • inferringsuspicion

    isn't mary jane a pornstar?

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  • Time for you to grow up.

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  • Well, in the end up, I had to quit because I quit for two weeks, then someone offered me a joint which I accepted and I suffered a major panic attack. Someone told me that weed would never be the same again for me and they were right about that because every time I tried smoking it since the attack, I had severe anxiety and sometimes panic attacks. My new problem is panic and health anxiety now. Great. My doctor tried to put it all down to being an ex-stoner but I told him - my personality is the over-riding cause because I've always been a worrier and shy. I was always prone to this problem when I think about it. Weed most likely just brought the underlying problems to a head. It's so shit having this disorder - worrying most days that death is around the corner. It's a waste of time, yet terrifying. I would say, if you sound like me and you're toking a lot, either cut down or quit altogether because you're right @thisissomuchfun - weed's not for everyone. Even if it is a lot of fun for you right now.

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  • @343Boy Haha!

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  • 343Boy

    Is your name Peter Parker?

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  • Piggy123

    Thats really long

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  • Psychosocial

    I toke. Been at it for 20 yrs. I also quit from time to time and it doesn't bother me. By thinking about it too much, and dwelling on it like quitting is an overbearing weight- that makes it worse. Marijuana is a psychological addiction- and once you get past not hitting it when it's passed to you, it shouldn't be a problem. Treating marijuana as a "college" or youth thing is misleading in any case. People of all ages use it in moderation without problems.

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  • HurrrDurrr

    Happiness is always a search, because it is not attainable. You might find contentedness, but happiness is a temporary state of elation. You cannot maintain it forever. So aim for what you can achieve otherwise you'll eventually get tired of reaching for that which you cannot hold onto.

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  • babaG

    Agreed ^^

    It's not for everyone.

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  • Mastersash

    C-ya!

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  • ladyday

    SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY!

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  • CountryRoads

    I don't get the appeal to marijuana. I've tried it several times and I just don't see the awesomeness of it. I can't imagine doing it every day- it seems like such a loser-ish way to spend your time.

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