Is it normal to ruin relationships because they'll never be as good as my dad?

35% Normal
6 Comments

I have been in several relationships, one lasting 2 years the others considerably shorter (1-4 weeks).
Despite being very lucky with the people that have chosen me as an attractive prospect i always want a fling when in a relationship and a long term love arrangement when sleeping around a bit.

Why can i not decide what i want? And why is it always the opposite to what i have? This has become horrible for me because once i know what i desire i cannot seem to control it very well and this has led me to cheat or push people who love me away and break their hearts.

As a 9 y/o my dad died and i cannot help but think that the fact that i always need a man in my life in some capacity is due to the absence of my father, i would love there to be a day when i felt like i could fill the hole that he clearly left behind.

I think that the reason i cant stay in one place in a relationship for long without cheating or moving on is because at the end of the day my partner is never going to live up to how i as a nine year old saw my daddy.

Do you think that this is a plausible reason for my behavior? do you see any way i can fix it? all i want is to feel certain about a person for more than five minuets at a time. help !

Voting Results
35% Normal
Based on 43 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • fissionmailed
    11 years ago

    Other people complicate life, relationships are meaningless

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  • wiccensinner666
    4 years ago

    i say find someone that reminds u of your dad and as for the cheating i think its normal since i love to share when i date someone i think its normal

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    It's also possible that you feel like a relationship can't possibly be permanent because you lost your dad so soon. Kind of like fear of abandonment or something?

    Maybe you could try just distracting yourself from the whole relationship/hook-up scene altogether for a while... until you truly understand yourself. And whatever you decide to do, try to weigh your decisions rationally before you commit to anything, whether it be getting into a relationship, hooking up or getting out of a relationship. If you don't think before you act you will just keep hurting people and going through the cycle over and over again, hurting yourself.

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  • Woogirl
    11 years ago

    Maybe just maybe, its as simple as: you haven't found the right person yet.

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  • ygrowup
    11 years ago

    It possible this is the reason, but you must know that no one can replace your Dad, and you should keep a special place in your heart for him, but the heart is amazing and had room to grow and make room for another, once you find that special person!
    But if you cannot even let someone in, you should seek professional help, for someone to really talk to about this. Good luck with your choices

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  • NiceKitty
    11 years ago

    The biggest problem I see here, is when you said you cheated. No excuse for that one.

    As for your dad, I'm sorry. But the best thing to try to do is move on and look for the best in others, and not shoot it down before it begins.

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