Is it normal to réálly dislike/hate your best friend in this situation?

Okay so, I live in Holland, and i used to have a very best friend,can't think of a better friend then her! we had the most amazing times ever,and i never had a friend like her !!
We've known and were best friends for like 4 years.
Then, sadly, she moved back to America (her parents work in the army,and lived here for 8 years,they move to places after several years)

So i waved goodbye at the airport,had such a HARD time, i cried for hours and there hasn't been a day that there didn't roll a tear down my face for 2 months or so. (really)

i don't like having more then 1 or 2 best friends,so i only had her as best friend all of the time,sure i had some good/close friends but nothing like her, we were together every weekend and all that.

When she got in America/her house, she called me a few times,she emailed me of how her days went,we got on skype to cam and stuff

Then she promised me a lot too, that she'll visit me next summer,that she'll email me everyday of how her day was,that she'll call me once a month.

She broke ALL of them! she only emailed me the first month,daily, then once a week, then i had to ask her to email me,because she just wouldn't.
She called me once,she said she can't come to visit me because she doesn't have enough money,BUT she could get a driving license and a newer car?yes, she bought it herself!

Note: i understand that she likes to make new friends and hang with them,i understand that she wants a car and to shop,but she doesn't put any effort in our friendship. she could atleast email me once a week right?!

So, i've been giving a 100%, trying to email her myself to still talk to her, i'd stay up longer then usual just to see her online blahblahblah.
But i can't keep doing it, when it isn't mutual, i don't like giving a 100 % when she only gives like 5%?!

But when i talk about my days,or things that happened, she gives me cold short answers like: oh nice! aw,poor you.
and when we talk it's only like Hey! how are you? good you? i'm fine, g2g bye!

And i told her my feelings about everything many many times,she just keeps denying,or making more promises that she can't keep up to.

What irritates me now, is the fact that she does email/call/send presents to this girl who lives a town further then me,they were friends too, but they hated each other when my best friend left for like a year.

they send stuff on facebook daily,she (my ex-bestfriend) sends presents to that girl and all that so i'm like okay,why her,and not me while i've always been true to her,and always been there for her.

After almost 2 years of doing this,i'm getting tired of trying to make something out of a friendship that obviously isn't mutual :/

but then also, i don't wanna give up on the amazing memories we have,the amazing times and such things.
Arguing and talking about it with her just doesn't work.

What should i do??
And is it normal to hate her now??

Voting Results
68% Normal
Based on 22 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • TyLee

    That is so so sad! I feel so sorry for you but you have to let it go.

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  • She dosent deserve yu as a friend!

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    • arshkia

      i agree

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  • prettygurl

    Omygosh, I don't know her very well but I know she is a b**** I think u need a reality check becuz that girl doesn't seem to care about u anymore (sorry to say that) anyways u won't be letting go of the memories becuz they will always live inside u, so don't worry, just slowly let it go....

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  • arshkia

    sometimes we have to let go people who dont appreciate us....so that we wont have any problems in our life....
    we came to this world to live....n not to lose our life for the people who dont appreciate us....there are more ppl outside are waiting 4 us....so find for their relationship so that can get rid of it....im sure when u make ur life better than this....ur ex bestfren will regret to lose a frien lk u.....

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  • xmvince

    It's a tough one. I've had several friends like that where after we finished up college and moved back home, the distance has broken our friendship. We both became busy with life & work so we didn't have as much time nor interest in contacting each other. After all, a lot of conversation topics come from being together, seeing things together and experiencing things together. When you separate yourself physically, after a while it gets harder and harder to get a good conversation going. Sure, you can talk politics or what you did during the day but it's not the same type of connection as face to face and being together. I wouldn't blame her as much as I'd blame technology and the busy lifestyle it forces upon on. So much maintenance & upkeep for everything, we don't have nearly the same amount of time we did 30-40 years ago. Relationships have become harder to form & maintain it seems and I'd suggest trying to go out and visit her if you can.

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  • Green_Guy

    I thought you were just obsessive at the beggining but i finished the whole thing and realised what a terrible situation she was putting you in. well obviously, (you said it yourself) this isn't a mutual relationship anymore and she doesn't seem to be interested in you so i'd say have one last serious chat with her tell her you're on the verge of giving up with this whole thing and see if she catches on, if not let it go, after all, it's been two years.
    but let go slowly if you try to pretend you dont care about her anymore all of a sudden you'll only drag yourself into more depression.

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    • Green_Guy

      also, stay friends, keep in contact.
      she's been a mega dick to you lately but forgive her. she probably doesn't even realised what she's doing and maybe even thinks it's time to move on.

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  • Say i love you, youre my best friend and see what her response is. Shell soon realise what she means to you.

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  • IAmTheCynic

    Sadly, this is very common in friendships. Most of my best friends that I thought I would have for a long time have since moved on, despite my attempts to keep the friendships alive.

    I agree with the others that you should probably just let it go. The memories will stay with you long after the friendship fades, and eventually you'll make better friends. Who knows, maybe your new best friend will be someone you didn't expect either.

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  • rbeccax

    Thanks TyLee and prettygurl ,appreciate the comments C: i know she doesn't care anymore, but i strangely still do >.<
    I should let go indeed, and i shouldn't care that much, and if she'd miss me, she'd let me know,right !? so yeah, i should give up now

    Apparently some people don't know how TRUE best friends are like, so they shouldn't comment to this either,they don't understand anyway C:

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