Is it normal to put husband out on the porch in summertime?

34% Normal

37 Comments

He snores loud and has bad farts so in summer I encourage him to sleep on the porch.

Voting Results

34% Normal

Based on 71 votes (24 yes)

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Comments ( 37 )

handsignals

9 years ago | pl

Porch Monkey

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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

Why not the living room?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Small house, thin walls and no interior doors.
  
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  - FruityGoofyFaggot
    
    9 years ago
    
    Your dog's name is Husband? That's a strange name for a dog. Why not just name him Mr. Piddles, or Sir Snorlax, or Lord Fartington?
    
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    You live in a shotgun shack then? Those houses are really common here where I live.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Yeah, basically.
      
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poon_jabber

9 years ago

at least suck him off before you boot him to the porch because he can't even spank it out there.

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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

Thats brutal get him a hammock or tent atleast.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  We're looking for a cheap porch swing.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    Thats nice of you. How much do those *shotgun shacks* cost per month?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      $500/month but it's in a good neighborhood which is why it's so expensive. The rich neighbors want to buy it and demolish it and take over the land it's on. They were real mad when we rented it because they thought they'd be able to finally buy it since it was vacant but we came along and moved in sparing the owner from having to sell. It was his mother's place so it has sentimental value and he really didn't want to have to sell it.
      
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pixie_dust

9 years ago

gosh he sounds more like your dog than your husband

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  He is much more smelly and annoying than the average dog.
  
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  - pixie_dust
    
    9 years ago
    
    lol time to get a new man
    
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NotHumanAtAll

9 years ago

On the porch? Aw that's mean. Unless he likes it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  He may rather be inside but he accepts his fate.
  
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Peanuts

7 years ago

Poor guy.

Cant help his sleeping problems but yes it's normal to not want to sleep with someone when they are keeping you up

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gashlover

9 years ago

it sounds like he's on the road to colon cancer.

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qld37

9 years ago

haha

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Holzman_67

9 years ago

"has bad farts" I love the acceptance of this as a hard fact.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  What makes it bad is that they reek but they also linger for a very long time. They are so smelly and heavy it's as if they have mass. When he poops the bathroom smells for up to 2 hours afterward. I've inspected his sphincter and things are not looking good down there. Very loose, very brown (poo osmosis, staining).
  
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  - green_boogers
    
    9 years ago
    
    Make him take fiber. The orange flavored stuff ain't bad. See if y'all can get him to drink more water too.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      I bought him some fiber chewey bars. It's a start.
      
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      - green_boogers
        
        9 years ago
        
        Hang in there. You'll get the old hog feelin better.
        
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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

He doesn't do that in the Winter?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yes but it gets too cold in winter to put him out.
  
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- shuggy-chan
  
  9 years ago
  
  Bum hole is done froze shut
  
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EccentricWeird

9 years ago

This sounds like a legitimate strategy to keep a marriage together.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  It works.
  
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Shrunk

9 years ago

Lol sounds nice actually, as long as it's a screened in porch..?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  No, it just has a roof.
  
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  - Shrunk
    
    9 years ago
    
    Bug lamp, at least??
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      No but the bats take care of a lot of the bugs.
      
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LizardSkin

9 years ago

I'd encourage him to file for divorce.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Divorce is not an option.
  
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  - green_boogers
    
    9 years ago
    
    You guys ever take showers together? Why not soap him up twice?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      I do shower him sometimes. He is much taller than me and hogs the water though. He's fat too. It's not real fun for me and the sight of him nude is rather gross.
      
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to put husband out on the porch in summertime?