Is it normal to put friendship before romance given these circumstances

88% Normal
7 Comments

I'm a man who has been friends with a woman for 4 years now. We've both been in bad relationships through those 4 years, but now we're both single and getting closer. We're starting to hang out more and more. We went out and had a good time last night and I even met some of her family. (I had met them once before, but it wasn't a good occasion)

I feel like we're still not ready to take the next step though. My friend lost her mom about 6 months ago. I did everything a friend should do in that situation and I believe that's part of the reason we're even closer now than ever. I believe we could take the next step, but I don't believe she needs a boyfriend right now. She just needs a friend. I want to be patient and give her time to heal, but I'll admit that it's getting more and more difficult.

is it normal to put friendship before romance?

Voting Results
88% Normal
Based on 33 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Fall_leaves
    10 years ago

    It sounds like you really care about her and that she's worth waiting for. I agree it's probably best to wait for the romance side of things.

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  • kelili
    10 years ago

    You sound like a very mature man. I think that you'll know exactly what to do at the right time. Just make sure that it's what she wants too.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Reminds me of something my friend in England went through with someone...Turned out the feeling to take the step forward wasn't mutual, which shocked him because he done more for her than the other guys she liked on an emotional and mental level.

    Point being, don't think it is inevitable that you two will be together. Look for others aswell, just incase.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I've learned not to think anything is inevitable. It wouldn't be the first time that feelings weren't mutual between me and a woman.

      I was thinking last night to be prepared to accept that maybe all she wants is friendship. I may be symbolic to her like a sense of security during hardship and not someone symbolic of romance. Romance can turn a good relationship into something tumultuous, and who knows how she really feels. It's not the end of the world, but I would be crushed for a while if this is the case.

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      • Riddler
        10 years ago

        Friendship is more important. Some people only care about you if they can date you. Otherwise you mean nothing to them. A friend will like you even if you are not going to have sex with them.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Excellent point!

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    Sounds like you really know what you're doing.
    ;-)

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