Ask Your Question today
My dad has never really been around and has only really shown interest in my brother when he has tred to contact us. But now that my brother has gone off the airforce, he wants to try and build a bond with me. I wanted to have a relationship with my dad when I was younger but now I just don't care whether he's in my life or not. Is that Normal?
It would be totally ok if you decided to have no contact at all, but if you're uneasy about that why not try very brief superficial contact - eg half an hour in a coffee shop - and see how it goes.
If you subsequently decide to increase contact that's ok too. IF he's pressuring you that's not ok and you can step back until it feels comfortable for you.
Sure.
If you're 18+ (and I hope you are if you're on this site), you're perfectly entitled to make any decisions you'd like, regardless of how good or bad they might be.
Myself, I'd give it a chance. You never know when you'll lose someone and once they're gone there's no opportunity to heal whatever hurt there is, you just get to live with it.
As examples, not that I had strained relationships with them, but I've lost two friends this year. The first was female, 22 (good friend... nudge, nudge), driving through a green signal, some asshat doesn't stop for his red signal. She's killed instantly. The second, was a male, mid-40's, he and his wife were coming over to visit with my paramour and myself. He feels chest pains, his wife asks if he wants to go to a hospital. He's the kind that NEVER wants to see a doctor but he says 'yes' so she knows it's serious. Three hours later he's dead, the heart attack killed him. They never even got him on the operating table.
I've said it before here and I'll say it again
The title of father means shit if you don't act like it, it doesn't mean you can treat those around you how you want and still have a right to see them just because you're " family "
It is normal, especially if you have an absent dad like it sounds like you do. If you don't want a relationship with your dad, he has no right to demand one. Donating his DNA does not a father make. Don't feel bad if you don't want him in your life seeing as it seems he's been fine without you in his life up till now.