Is it normal to not understand your actions?

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Not only do I not know why I did or didn’t do certain things, but sometimes certain things pop into my head at random, sometimes from YEARS ago, and I drive myself mad trying to find a good reason why I did or did not do the thing.

This may seem minor, but sometimes it’s such a constant obsession that it genuinely hinders me because I don’t want to do anything until I figure out my reasoning, and sometimes I just can’t.

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Based on 10 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Boojum
    3 years ago

    I have occasionally also fallen into that trap. The way I deal with it is by telling myself that the person I was then did things for reasons that seemed perfectly sensible at the time, but I'm no longer that person.

    Introspection isn't inherently bad, and the only way we can make better decisions in life is by learning from the bad ones we've made and not repeating them. But what you're doing is as pointless as getting obsessed with trying to figure out why someone else has done the things they've done.

    You can't really put yourself in the mindset of the person you were years ago and you can't recall every single little thing that influenced you in some way back then, so it's impossible for you to truly understand why you did the things you did. Everyone has a story of their life in their head, and it's always fictional to some degree. That's a coping mechanism; not many people can deal with the reality of all the ill-judged, unthinking or even wilfully nasty things we've done.

    You are who you are today, and your life is what it is today. It's difficult to not fall into regretting things we did or didn't do in the past, but it really is completely pointless. The best we can do is try to be awake and aware today, and to always try to do the best we can.

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    • Hubbard
      3 years ago

      Thank you so much!

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    • [Old Memory]
      3 years ago

      I think it's good to assess our motives and why we do the things we do, it lets us know what our baseline behavior is without any restrictions. Getting a good grasp for how you react to things gives you better perspective on how you should respond to them. It teaches you how to live in the moment and appreciate things for just as they are.

      For me in particular, my English teacher's lesson about flowers representing the brevity of life makes a lot more sense

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      • Hubbard
        3 years ago

        How well do you remember the lesson?

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        • [Old Memory]
          3 years ago

          I'm human, I sometimes need something repeated a few times. I look at it like Jung's synchronicity combined with an integration process that resembles the law of attraction.

          It's usually twice I need it, sometimes thrice, even fewer once. It depends on a lot of things, most notably though I guess is the perceived importance and how often I'll need to remember to it.

          Assessing why it's important helps too

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    You do things, good or bad, because you want to. And that’s what matters.

    The “why” is spelled out in crayon for you in the moments leading up to the actions. Your thoughts.

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  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    That was me like ten years ago

    Now I can get info like that but it's still an endeavor to figure out how to use it

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    Who cares “why”

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