Is it normal to not go through with an engagement?

88% Normal
6 Comments

I don't want to get too deep into this story so i'm going to keep it short. I was dating this guy on and off for 6 years. He cheated on me 8 times (probably more) that I know of and my dumb ass kept getting back with him. I was afraid to never find someone again and I couldn't say no every time he asked back for me. The last time he asked for me back he asked me to marry him, I said yes thinking this would finally change him and us. I didn't know how to say no, but I wish I did. We were engaged about 6 months, 4 of those which I hated him and my life and was so afraid for my future. He treated me horribly, I couldn't have sex with him anymore, He did absolutely nothing for me except disappear or shrug me off. Me and my parents spent thousands of dollars for this wedding, but I just couldn't do it anymore one day. I had to call it off. I learned my lesson and regret him with every ounce of my blood. Is it normal to have called off the engagement? I feel like people would look down on me for ending an engagement, but I just couldn't do it and I wish I was strong enough to have said no to him a long time ago. IIN?

Voting Results
88% Normal
Based on 8 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Barbarella
    9 years ago

    You did the right thing. Learn to say NO right now. Don't be such a push over.

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  • CoraCook
    9 years ago

    At "He cheated on me 8 times (probably more)" I could already answer that this is completely normal. Good for you that you broke it off! Hope you have a happy life.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I'm positive you saved yourself from much worse than a bit of embarrassment, when you finally dumped this chump. I sincerely hope you can remain strong and not let him back in your life.
    You really need to get out there dating again ASAP. It is very important that you do not let this affair ruin you and your ability to have a normal life with a wonderful, loving companion.
    Start dating, but do not be looking to get into a relationship, for a while. Date a few guys and don't let it get serious with any of them. Just relearn how to have fun and relate to men, again. And as a great perk, it will drive your ex nuts if he learns you aren't moping around the house, all torn up over the break up!

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  • Sog
    9 years ago

    That's very wise that you realized that marriage wouldn't change anything. You saved yourself from making a huge mistake, one that many people unfortunately make.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Ofcourse its normal that you called off the wedding. What's highly abnormal is the fact that he cheated on you over and over, and you kept running back to him. Sorry, but if you don't respect yourself how do you expect him to respect you?

    This asshole probably lost respect for you after the first time he cheated and you took him back. He knew he could do anything and you would be too vulnerable to turn him down so he turned you into his doormat. I really don't understand how women can even look their man in the eye after having been cheated on.

    Good for you that you eventually realised that this guy was not the one for you. In the future, stop being such a people pleaser and do what's best for you, not some cheating douchebag. Harsh as it may sound, you need to hear this. You can't go through life letting guys walk all over you because they will take advantage of this and you will be ripped to shreds.

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  • ㅤㅤㅤ
    9 years ago

    Nope! Normal. Good job, you had the power to stand up yourself against a very bad human being. Dont atress, be happy. You did a good thing for yourself.

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