Is it normal to not go for what i want because of how it'll affect others?

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2 Comments

Okay, my friend Mike has had a crush for like two years on our friend Emily. I always liked her too but I didn't try anything because it would hurt Mike. But recently me and Emily have been talking and there's a big spark between us. We like the same things. We're just really well-matched. I didn't notice it happening but I think I've fallen in love. When Mike said he was finally going to ask her on a date, I felt devastated and I can't stop thinking about her. She doesn't know how I feel because I've always had to hold back because of Mike.

What makes it harder is our other friend Rachel (who is my ex) keeps trying to push Mike and Emily together because she wants them to be a couple. She also gets in the way whenever I hook up with someone and tries to interfere because I think she wants me to get back with her. I know she's already said things about me to Emily to discourage her and if she knew I was in love with Emily she'd really try to ruin things.

I don't know what to do. If I act on my feelings, everybody will be upset and I'll probably lose friends. But if I'm supposed to be with Emily, should I at least let her know, or just let Mike have his chance? He's liked her longer than me and I know he would be good to her. I want her to be happy but it hurts because I want to be happy too.

Voting Results
90% Normal
Based on 29 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • squeallikeasacofpigs
    10 years ago

    Dude, all I can say is, bros before hoes.

    If this dude Mike is a true true friend, one that you'll keep around forever, don't try and fuck the girl he likes. Even if you like her too. It's the bro code man. Good friends are hard to come by, there are millions of women.

    Plus, if you do fuck her, you'll be getting fucked over by 2 people. Psycho ex-gf trying to split you up and Mike will probably do something similar.

    Don't do it dude, there are loads of other broads out there.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    You only get one shot at life buddy, so I'd take my a chance and ask this girl out asap. Try a comedy club for your first date; lots of laughs and you won't have to entertain her yourself.
    In my mind, a friend would be happy for you if you found the "right" girl and it seems as though Mike has had plenty of time to make his move, anyway.
    Go for it and if your friends are upset, then fuck them; this could be the best thing in your life.

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