Is it normal to not forgive a changed parent for abusing you as a child?

I think this is normal. My mother abused me while I was growing up but I have forgiven her because she was not the same person then as she is now. She was an alcoholic and had a lot of emotional problems. Try to understand the root of her abuse - was she abused as a child? could she have been molested? was she an addict? were her parents very strict? Is she at all sorry for the way she acted/treated you?

You do not have to ever forgive her but forgiveness often makes you feel free, letting go of things can feel good. It doesn't happen instantly. It takes work to free yourself from your past.

Normal. I have not spoken to my mother in 6 yrs ish and will never forgive her for my childhood. What bothers me is I heard from my sister that my mom is going senile or some shit and honestly doesn't remember abusing us. She can't understand why I refuse to see her, and it pisses me off. Like, how dare she forget the hell she put me through when I have to remember it?!?

I'm in the same situation with both of my parents. They were both verbally, psychologically (there is a huge difference between that and verbally) and physically. They were fucked up people that cared for me, but had many problems of their own and constantly fucked with my head and beat me. They divorced, and my Mom blamed me, she beat my ass relentlessly and when I would flee the house she called the cops on me, even though I'd never laid a finger on her.

I moved out right after I finished high school. They admit to fault, my Mother tearfully apologizing to me. I forgive her, for it does seem as she has truly changed, and she was really just a messed up person in a messed up relationship that was unable to control her emotions. My father, he is mental, and he can't help himself. I am having a hard time forgiving him although he apologized, he continues his behavior and only proves to me that he is too self-absorbed to really give a damn about anyone else. Maybe I'll forgive him someday, but until I learn more about how people like him can be, it'll be difficult.

It is totally normal.. In fact your story is almost identical to mine except my mother still isn't nice to me and we haven't talked in about a year. It's my step father who tries to make up for his abusive behavior. He calls me all the time just to talk and he tries to get to know me. He said he was sorry about how he treated me as a young child and I do kinda forgive him a little I guess... but at the end of the day I really don't care about him and it kills me to say "I love you too" because I don't really mean it. I say it to be nice because I have a big heart.. but like you I do have self esteem issues... can't tell you the amount of times my step dad called me a worthless pig and my mother told me she should of had an abortion.

Shit, I accidentally tagged your thing as fake. Sorry.

Maybe it would make you feel better but I could tell you how a mother could be much, much worse. Not because it happened to me (or anyone I knew), but I read that it happened.

Who could say. Only you should know.

(not the most useful comment, probably).

Yes it is normal.

My mom is mean to me, I told her to go die once and she tried to eat my soul

I forgave my dad when he took a stroke - then he just looked like a weak old man.

My mother continues to be abusive but has rewritten history in her own head. My sister thought I could deal with it better if I believed she was senile.

The one thing I will say - I am the most confident person you will ever meet. I don't have a shy bone in my body and I don't care if the bitches in the corner are talking about me.

Why not?
Coz they are only amateurs compared to my mother and her insults!!!

I never mention my parents coz it makes me full of hate but at the moment my mother is sulking since I told her that her last conversation where she fukd at me, was on loudspeaker in a restaurant :o) My dad's dead, and I never looked in the coffin, I don't really feel as though he is.

Sad thing is though, that my dad would've been ok without her as a partner :o(

It's normal.

I probably will never forgive my family. I would like nothing more than to move far away and get restraining orders against them.... Of course that will have to wait. Then, I have to think if I ever do get a proper psychiatrist, exactly how much in total will it take for me to properly express myself and get rid of all the bad memories.

Honestly, my family is just nuts! They're to blame for most of my problems....
It makes me angry, especially that people think of some of my family members as being "nice" "wonderful" "perfect" people and that I have the "perfect relationship" with them!
If only people knew!