Is it normal to not care that my mom was always away when i was a child?

79% Normal
13 Comments

My Mom was a workaholic career woman in management and for all of my childhood, Mom was always at work. Sometimes she came home from her shift every time and sometimes she'd stay gone and hang out with friends or keep working.

As a result, we were not very close at all, we barely knew each other and even after she and Dad got divorced, she was pretty much absent leaving my to deal with my brother and sister alone.

For some reason, when I tell people this, they feel bad for me and say that it is a negative thing, but honestly, I don't care. My sister grew up very unhappy that my Mom was always at work, or when not at work, with friends, and hated that Mom was never around to spend time with us, save for the occasional Sunday morning off. But it never bothered me.

I feel so apathetic over the subject and no amount of friendly advice had convinced me that not giving a shit where my Mom was unless we needed groceries or school supplies wasn't a big deal. My sister once told me that all Mom did was pay the bills and that I was the one that ran the household and that's how it was. In fact, I was actually pretty happy with not having a parent constantly breathing down my neck, aside from money I took care of all my own business. My Mom didn't even know what grades I was making or even whether or not I came home on any given night. Once I graduated high school, I was gone. This upset her for some reason, she constantly posts things on my Facebook like "I miss you". I get the feeling that she genuinely misses me, but we hardly ever spoke.

is it normal to not care that my Mom was always at work and away as a child?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 42 votes (33 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • flutterhigh
    11 years ago

    Sounds like your mom needs to star in a romantic-comedy film starring Ryan Reynolds or Hugh Grant, that way she will eventually learn to value things like love and kindness over her career. Or maybe you should find your long-lost twin and plot with her to bring your parents back together, which will surely solve every problem ever.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      11 years ago

      LOL

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    I think this is a normal response to your mom's absence. The way I see the situation, you don't care that your mom was absent because you never knew her. She was just a stranger that would give you stuff to make up for her absence. She's just a stranger to you, not your mom, which is why I think you're indifferent towards her disappearance.

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  • Squambly+
    11 years ago

    My mom is the same but it doesn't bother me. I have freedom and she isn't always asking me questions about everything. Even though I have freedom I don't do anything stupid with it. I'd say I turne out pretty well.

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  • justsomekidfromcanada
    11 years ago

    This is going to sound weird but in a lot of ways I envy people whose parents weren't necessarily as close as they might of liked. As long as the relationship isn't abusive than I find it makes them stronger and more independent people. It forces them to make emotional connections elsewhere which really builds social skills and teaches them how to be a likeable person. Maybe it makes for a rough childhood at times but I think a little emotional distance from your parents when developing can be a good thing.
    I wouldn't be surprised if you're one of those people that can just get along with anyone and has no trouble making friends.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      11 years ago

      I have no trouble making friends and getting along with others, assuming I am not in church. Years of being an atheist in the bible belt worked that fear into me, though.

      But my Mother was abusive as well.

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      • justsomekidfromcanada
        11 years ago

        How was your mother abusive? Regardless it seems like it all worked out. If you're not mad about your mom being distant then I honestly can't think of a downside to how it turned out.

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        • NeuroNeptunian
          11 years ago

          We got into violent arguments, sometimes. Mainly because I didn't take her authority too well as it was inconsistent, like she would not talk to me for weeks and then one day get very angry about something that I have been doing for months.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I'm like that but it was with my dad, people think its wrong that I don't miss him but my mom never pushed us to have a relationship and my dad and I are more like distant relatives that get along. Your favorite unkle you see once in a while

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  • 011assasin
    11 years ago

    of course its normal. You dont develop feelings to somebody you don't really know

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  • NocturnePonyFan
    11 years ago

    It seems normal, to me at least. I had a sort of absentee mother when I was younger...oh we were close, but there was a time when she traveled quite a bit for her work (she sold furniture). I don't feel badly about it at all, since I had my grandma to look after me. It was a really wonderful time to bond with her. Mom and I had lots more time to bond and spend together than my grandma and I had, so it worked out ok ^_^

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  • chole
    11 years ago

    It's perfectly normal.
    My childhood was pretty much the same except it was me who was gone. They sent me to boarding schools ever since I reached my double digits. We would barely communicate unless it was something of a necessity. Sometimes once a year. It wasn't bad at all. I personally felt that it really fitted me and I never had a troubled childhood.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    So was mine and i never had a dad, i grew up very cold and shallow with few friends, wouldn't talk to kids, didn't like being hugged and started looking at porn when i was 9. No troll...no joke :(

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