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I'm a woman and whenever I have sex with my boyfriend I can't cum? It feels really good and I obviously get pleasure from it, but I just can't cum (but sometimes I end up questioning if I did cum? Sometimes it'll feel like I came but not very hard?). It's not something I need to fix and I don't want advice, I just want to know if this is normal/okay.
I'm a guy, so I can't speak from personal experience. However, I've been in long-term relationships with several women during my life, and I've read a fair amount about the female sexual response for reasons I won't go into here.
My understanding is that it's completely normal for women to have orgasms of varying degrees of intensity, and it's not at all unusual for women to wonder if they've actually come (particularly when they're young and inexperienced). It's also not unusual for women to find sex very enjoyable even if they don't actually have an orgasm, although this is something a lot of guys have problems understanding or accepting, since we tend to think of orgasms as the whole point of sex.
I think it's more common for women who haven't masturbated much and who have little experience with men to have the uncertainty you're feeling. If a woman has spent time exploring her sexual response on her own, she should be pretty certain if she has had an orgasm. She'll also be familiar with what sort of stimulation she needs to have one.
Surveys have found that only around a fifth of women are consistently able to have orgasms through penis-in-vagina sex alone. For the majority of women, the position of the clitoris relative to the vaginal opening is such that penis thrusting simply doesn't provide enough prolonged stimulation of the clitoris to produce an orgasm. Since only PIV sex is "real" sex for a lot of guys, that can be a problem.
Also, it's common for a woman to require clitoral stimulation for fifteen minutes or even longer in order for her to come. Even if a woman is one of those blessed with an anatomy which allows her clitoris to be strongly stimulated during PIV sex, many guys have problems holding off their own orgasm for anything near that long.
If you'd like to understand your sexual response better, you might consider reading "Come as You Are" by Emily Nagoski. It's a very positive book, and she goes into a lot of details about what researchers have discovered about female sexuality. Much of it isn't commonly known, and some is in direct conflict with what's commonly believed.
It mostly depends on the balance of hormones in the brain, not the quantity of sensation.
Try unearthing a few of your kinks first and focus on those. They'll help.
I guess? I mean, seems like that's the social norm so...
I think for some girls its pretty normal not to cum, but can you drive yourself to do it? if so, maybe experimenting a little could help