Is it normal to need proof to be confident in yourself

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9 Comments

I don't feel like I'm worth anything "just because". I feel like that would be some sort of combination of delusion and narcissism. I need proof that I can point to in the real world to have confidence. "I did well here, here and here and that's why I myself am good." I keep reading that this is bad. I keep hearing that girls like confidence too and that you can fake it until you make it. On the other side I hear that being confident because of outside things is false and wrong. Why is requiring proof to believe in youself so bad? I require proof for every belief I have in life, why should I make an exception here... what am I missing? If there are standards on what makes a good man why would you logically not try to measure up or rate yourself according to the ideal?

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 19 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    The only important standards of "what makes a good man" are the ones one sets for oneself. Fuck what anybody else thinks. Confidence need not be any more than feeling good about yourself. Knowing you are doing the best you can with what you've got. Stop worrying about all this and just be yourself. Again, if that's not good enough for others, then fuck em.

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    • Splithead
      9 years ago

      Isn't that what someone like hitler would say though? Like.... go full steam ahead just forget anyone else. Seems very self protective but extremely damaging to others.

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  • DubstepismyMJ
    9 years ago

    there is a difference between being confident and being cocky.

    the only time you get to be cocky is if you want to be a dick about it and have the achievements to back it up.

    It seems you have been very cocky among your peers, that's the only reason I see as to why they would be angry with you.

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    • Splithead
      9 years ago

      I've nevwr been cocky. I was just content without them feeling I deserved it. I've never had much to be cocky about, it just didn't used to bother me that I wasn't the best.

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  • Dulse.
    9 years ago

    There is no objective reason to be confident, or not confident in yourself. It's simply how you choose to feel. Standards only have value if you value them. It would be like needing an excuse to be happy. What other reason do you need besides it's healthy and it feels good? I hope that helps somehow.

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    • Splithead
      9 years ago

      I mean that makes sense but, when I was confident but not good at anything people got angry, really angry honestly. I just feel like I dont have a right to feel that way just because.

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      • Dulse.
        9 years ago

        People got angry? Maybe you were upsetting them in some other way, I don't think being confident would upset most people.

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        • Splithead
          9 years ago

          No they definitely got angry, I'd rather not go into it, but basically I had to go through hours of verbal abuse daily for a few years. That was after I had already been hated by basically all my peers even before that. People have historically jut not wanted me to be happy unless I had a reason, unless I had some good trait I deserved to be proud of.

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          • Dulse.
            9 years ago

            Sounds like they were in the wrong, not you. I hope you can feel better about yourself again.

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