Is it normal to miss your "first kiss"

I think it was a year ago actually this month, technically he wasn't my /first/ kiss,since I've kissed and dated other guys before,but the other guys I didn't like (long ago when i was in my teens,im 21 now, I had a hard time telling guys who liked me no because of really dumb reasons i had to work out in therapy HA) but he was the first guy who i kissed that i really really did like and who i did feel chemistry with and did make me feel special,anyway randomly he just up and left. from time to time ill stop and think about wanting to lay in his bed again,or randomly start wondering why he left,a few days ago i saw him IRL at a store,but i didnt look at him,and i just walked past pretending to be on my phone,today i looked at his twitter and got this woosh of both missing that,and cringing when reading some tweets. Why should I even be thinking about this???
guess it helps to add that since then Ive kissed only one other guy who,you guessed it,i didnt really like, and ive feel like my life hasnt really progressed in terms of job or education or moving in the past year either lul

forgot to add that basically we were only around for like four months or so? not even officially dating