Is it normal to make an effort or forget him?

1 Comment

Okay, so me and my older half-brother don't speak. We've never fallen out or anything, it's a complicated situation. He's 32 and I'm 17 (he was my dad's son from his first marriage) and we've never lived together, so were never extremely close, but I always had him if I needed him. About 7 years ago, my dad sadly died and my brother really stepped up and was there for me, but the past few years, his fiancée, Lou (who he's been with for 15 years) has been really weird about he and I talking. I've only seen him once in the past year, and a few times in the year before that. About 2 years ago, he and Lou split up, and during that entire time he spoke to me constantly, and I was a good sister and a shoulder to cry on. I was there for him day or night, and even encouraged him to try and sort it out with Lou. Then they got back together and it was like I didn't exist... If I called the house and she answered she'd say he was sleeping and she'd get him to call me the next day, but he never did. Did he not get the message, or did he just not bother to call me? This went on for months, me calling every few days, and eventually I gave up and just left it. Then on my birthday on Christmas Eve, Lou sent me a text to wish me a happy birthday, but it had been 6 months since I gave up trying to speak to them and I'd never heard from them since, so I just replied "Thank you xxx" and that was it. Now last night, Lou added me on facebook and posted on my wall that she'd been trying to get in touch with me and had I changed my number? I said no, I hadn't and asked if they'd tried the house because they knew where I lived. I got no reply. She always says she'll call or text but doesn't. And another thing, my half-brother and her don't accept my mum as part of my life, but no one will EVER come between she and I - we only have eachother. She was always really nice to him when he was a little boy, same as his mum was nice to me. (His mum is getting treated the same as me btw.) They expect me to just leave my mum and go to them, despite the fact they only speak to me once a year! Thing is, I don't get to see my niece and nephew either because of it. She seems to control all communication, even though I was always really nice to her.

I guess what I'm asking, is should I make an effort despite the fact they don't, or just forget about the fact I have a brother?

Talk to them if they call, but don't go out of your way 1
Forget about him 1
Make the effort 0
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Comments ( 1 )
  • Mister_Nobody
    10 years ago

    I'm sorry you had to go through this. Sounds to me like your brother is the one who wants to forget about you. Perhaps he's embarassed that you had to be there to pull him back together, but even so it definitely isn't fair of him to give you the cold shoulder like this. His girlfriend Lou probably discourages him from trying to see you for whatever reason.

    I'd suggest you go round to their place unexpectedly, and see how he reacts when actually face to face with you. If he is hostile or acts like he isn't pleased to see you, then give up on him, but there is a fair chance that he will actually welcome you.

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