Is it normal to make a conscious decision to become and alcoholic

Through the lips and past the gums, look out liver, here it comes!
:-(

Save the alcohol for when you are taking tests. Be sober the rest of the time.

Okay, this was how I became an addict. I have now been in recovery for 4 years, but it hasn't been easy. I used to cover up and mask my feelings because I didn't want to feel anything. My main issue is also anxiety- of course the whole thing is a really long story, not appropriate for this comment.

My point is that when you mask over the feelings you are uncomfortable with, or just don't want to feel, then you will certainly lead yourself quickly down the path of addiction. Which really, really, really sucks btw. Plus, whatever you didn't want to feel in the first place, will eventually come out somehow when you have to get sober at some point eventually- and it's gonna be 10,000 times that amount of uncomfortableness or anxiety, pain, etc. that you didn't want to feel in the first place. It only strives to hold it off for a little while. No matter what you tell yourself, we all have to wake up sometime to reality when the party's over.

I would recommend some therapy and work on coping skills. It's not fun, no, but trust me- prison, jail, death and addiction in general is way worse to deal with. The only real practical way to deal with anything is to increase your coping mechanism with your anxiety. Does it ever really go away? No. But it does get way better.

Bottoms up!

Benzodiazopines.

You the one who used to make posts about speech class?

Maybe your problem is anxiety.

You should see if you can get a prescription for lyrica. It has similar effects to alcohol such as increased confidence etc but doesnt make you wobbly

Not a real solution to crippling social anxiety. You obviously work better when not under stress, and so you need to increase your comfort level around strangers. Learn the art of smalltalk, learn mindfullness, learn how to not give a crap.

No