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My wife was raised in a culture where people do not show outward affection. Also in her home there was never any affection given or received from parents or any family. Never said or heard the words "I Love You".
She says that she loves me but does not know how to show it...is this possible?
I find it odd that she can not or does not know how to show love YET she is able to show love to her dog and other animals.
She says she does not get anything out of showing affection to people but only does it because she feels she has too.
Doing some searching on the Internet she actually sounds a bit like a Psychopath.
~Psychopaths are often witty and articulate. They can be amusing and entertaining conversationalists, ready with a quick and clever comeback, and can tell unlikely but convincing stories that cast themselves in a good light.
~Psychopaths have a narcissistic and grossly inflated view of their self-worth and importance, a truly astounding egocentricity and sense of entitlement. They see themselves as the center of the universe, as superior beings who are justified in living according to their own rules.
~Psychopaths show a stunning lack of concern for the devastating effects their actions have on others. Often they are completely forthright about the matter, calmly stating that they have no sense of guilt, are not sorry for the pain and destruction they have caused, and that there is no reason for them to be concerned.
~Psychopaths display a general lack of empathy. They are indifferent to the rights and suffering of family members and strangers alike. If they do maintain ties with their spouses or children it is only because they see their family members as possessions, much like their stereos or automobiles.
~Psychopaths seem to suffer a kind of emotional poverty that limits the range and depth of their feelings. While at times they appear cold and unemotional, they are prone to dramatic, shallow and short-lived displays of feeling. Careful observers are left with the impression that they are play-acting and that little is going on below the surface.
Lying, deceiving and manipulation are natural talents for psychopaths.
She matches other signs too.
Either way you look at it, she is damaged...so I have to ask myself the question do I want to live my life with someone who is damaged like this? No she is not likely to change, only to pretend or act like a normal person.
Why not get her diagnosed by a real psychologist?
It's understandable to leave the relationship because you're unhappy, but being a detective about it feels pointless.
As for the animal thing, let's say you're correct in your theory. Normally, Psychopaths, Narcissist, etc, do not actually care for the pet deep down, but just like the attention they receive. If that pet were to become extremely ill or injured and require expensive care, the owner will become selfish and not waste money on a cat/dog. If the pet were to die from the lack of treatment, the owner will simply go "oh well," and charm everyone into believing they did all they could.
Anyway, end the relationship if you're happy, it's that simple.
Raise your hand if you are willing to let a Shrink prob your brain and tell you all your faults and diagnosed crazy tendencies....yeah just like I thought ZERO.
Fact is people are not exactly WILLING to get diagnosed by a REAL PSYCHOLOGIST
If you're unhappy, just end the relationship.
You're doing the same thing a psychologist would do, but really poorly though... it's just you're not trained, so you can't really diagnose anyone professionally. Basically, from how it looks, you want to call the bitch crazy so you have more reasons to end the relationship. Stop looking for excuses and just tell her bye.
Yeah, it's certainly possible. In most cases, if the feelings are real, a person can learn to change for their significant other. Just be open with her about how you feel. I think it's worth it to give her some time.
theseeker is absolutely right.
Start by giving her big hugs when you see her, and when you leave for work or something. Randomly kiss her deeply during the day or night. Basically, show physical affection to express your feelings. Eventually, she'll learn from all the love you're showing her, and take baby steps to show you the same affection.
Don't just talk about it, take action. I was once a person who had trouble getting close due to upbringing, but what helped me is actually what I said above.