Is it normal to look crazy in front of the person you really like?

73% Normal

I guess you can say when you really like someone, they will make you go crazy. But it sucks because no one wants to look crazy in front of the person they love. But thats just what he makes me do. In general, guys don't know how to express themselves and they don't think what girls are thinking at the moment (can be good and bad) which is why they view us as crazy. But them thinking we're crazy makes us even crazier! Because we know we have a valid reason to be upset yet they don't see it but just see us as delusional, makes us go out of control. I know I looked crazy to him last night when I brought up something he messed up on. He says he has no idea what he did wrong but clearly he did. He was being quiet throughout the night and I think it was because he got distracted with the people we went out with. I felt like one of the girls was into him. She even asked me if we were together in order to not make things awkward and I said yes. Yet, he was acting very indifferent which is a part of his personality but its hard to accept it especially in moments like that. It looks like we're on different pages when it comes to our relationship since we're not official but we are an item. So I confronted him and told him how he was pretty much acting indifferent with me and he just didn't see it. It got me going crazy and what got me going even crazier is the fact that I looked like a crazy person. I never am like this but now that I found someone who got me feeling things when i thought I was heartless before, I'm starting to look like those clingy, crazy gfs and I hate it. I want to look confident and normal like the usual me but its hard to prevent what I'm really feeling. I like feelings things for someone but for times like these, I wish I just didn't have a heart.

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73% Normal

Based on 22 votes (16 yes)

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Comments ( 12 )

VinnyB

9 years ago

You start of with "I'm not pretending like I don't know what situation" and then spend the rest of the post pretending you don't know the situation.

Let me be more blunt. You are a fuck buddy. You are nothing more than that, you never will be more than that, he doesn't give a crap about you. Any thinking person reading everything you have said would come to the same conclusion. he might occasionally tell you want you want to hear every now and they to keep you readily available when ever he wants a fuck, but it's all bull shit, and you make it obvious that deep down you know this, even though you don't like to think it.

I mean hell, this tread is over 7 months old, and based on your replies to me, you are in exactly the same place you were then. If he gave a shit, he would have upgraded the relationship a long time ago, but he doesn't give a shit.

But I don't think he is the bad guy here, I applaud everything he has done. You know why? Because you make your self available, you have for at least close to a year based on this post, maybe more. All he has done is take advantage of a situation that you insist on continuing to present.

You are not a victim, you are not a slave trapped and being forced, you are a thinking adult who makes it pretty clear she knows the score, but chooses to make herself available to be used again and again of her own free will, because you hold on to hope that one day he is going to wake up and realize how much he loves you. That only happens in romantic comedies, not in the real world. Do you know why? because he already knows how much he loves you, not at all.

But it's your life and your choice. If you have so little respect for your self that you would stay in that situation for at least 7 months, than I sure as shit am not going to have any respect for you. Don't blame that on him or anyone else, own your own shit. You are not a victim, you are pathetic, and I am sure he thinks your pathetic too. So you can go rationalize that in what ever way you want, because that seems to be the only thing your good at. I will not respond, because I am now done with you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Each time you have responded, you've ignored the fact that I AM FINALLY MOVING ON. I know, it's been 7 months. I just read my post and I know exactly the time I was talking about, it feels like it was yesterday. All these months have passed like nothing, trying to make it work with someone I adore and love but like I said in one of my responses, IT IS FINALLY HITTING ME that I need to move on. Ive always had it in my head but it never hit me. I felt like leaving would hurt me more than it would hurt him. But fuck it, what you just said is what love makes you look like sometimes; pathetic and a fool. Love is blind and all these red flags I saw I put aside because I had faith in him but finally for the first time in a loooooooooooonnngg time as you can see, I'm gaining respect for myself again. I have reached my breaking point and I'm moving on. And that's it.
  
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mountain-man82

9 years ago

You should really just lay it all out there. Let him know what youre feeling and why.Thats the only way that he'll know because hes clearly not a mindreader. It'll help to clear things up in the long run.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Thats what I did, explain myself but like i said I look crazy because the way he responds is just so heartless. Not that he does it in a mean way but he's just like "ok what do you want me to do?" "idk what you're talking about so I can't fix what you want me to fix." There is just going no where with him when you talk to him. He even said lets stop talking and drop it. I'm like no talking is good and I want to talk. But I look crazier and crazier the more I exlain myself and I can't just "drop it" because I will feel this unsatisfaction that will get in my way to enjoy the rest of the day. Unlike him, I have to talk it out in order to move on. With him, it's like yes/no black/white okay moving on.
  
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  - mountain-man82
    
    9 years ago
    
    Honestly you sound unhappy and it sounds like hes not going to change at all. Im just like you, have to talk things out to improve and move on, so if I were you I would leave him and find someone that will make you happy. Life is too short to spend it with people that make you unhappy or dont care about you.
    
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VinnyB

9 years ago

Yea, you just reiterated in this response that you are not his girlfriend and you know it.

"He's called me his Gf before but idk if he felt pressured to cause we were fighting but he said I'm his Gf and I'm someone he wants to be with long term."

It sounds pretty clear that you know he only said it because you were fighting and didn't really mean it. It is pretty clear from your entire statement that he rescinds this idea once you have calmed down.

"He wants his freedom to act as he pleases to and that's why he doesn't want to get tied down " "...he doesn't want anyone to know bout me cause he wants his freedom. "

So again you are fully aware of this, why pretend that you are not sure?

You say if he won't publically state this that, it is good bye. That is exactly what I told you in my response. If you are looking for something more than he is offering, I told you that you can drop him and go find it.

But don't try to pretend like you don't know what the situation is, clearly you do. If you are choosing to stay in that situation, you can not blame that decision on anyone but yourself. You make that choice, no one else.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I'm not pretending like I don't know what situation I'm in, instead, I'm just confused based on his actions. There were times where I was like "he is playing me and it sucks" and other times where I was like "he did do that and said that, I'm just exaggerating." I don't know what to believe but after so much, I do believe we have something serious and now its time to see how serious it is by doing what I want him to do. I understand pple go about social media in different ways. I don't even use social media to display my relationship so I can understand if he is the same way but what if he isn't? What if he isn't using social media to hide what we have so he can look free? especially considering what I have observed in person when it comes to other girls or showing me affection that we are something.
  
  But as I said, no matter how much I am jabbering about this, it doesn't matter cause I'm over feeling this way and I deserve better and finally it hit me. I knew I deserved better but I still gave him a chance cause it just felt right. Now, I don't think I can let myself go along with his bullshit. The next time I feel insecure about his response, I'm not gonna fight it, I'm gonna let it be and walk away cause I don't think I even have the energy to give him another chance. Thatll just be obnoxious.
  
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VinnyB

9 years ago

"It looks like we're on different pages when it comes to our relationship since we're not official but we are an item."

Clearly you're on different pages. You are not official but you are an item? There is no such thing. What this sounds like to me is you have been seeing a lot of each other and you are seeing him exclusively and want to be "official". You would like him to declare this to be so but he has not, and may be acting accordingly.

"I'm starting to look like those clingy, crazy gfs and I hate it."

Newsflash, based on your above statement, you are not his girlfriend, even if you would like to be. So, if you are acting like you are, then yes, that is crazy and clingy.

If you want to move this to the level of a serious relationship, then you need to clearly communicate that. If he doesn't feel the same way, you have the option to walk and find what you are really looking for. You can also choose to stick around until he is ready because you like him and want to make it work. But if you make this choice knowing full well what his feeling on the situation are, than you have accepted his feelings on the matter. Therefor, you no have a right to be upset with him about them. You can be upset about the situation, and how he feels in general. But you can't be upset with him personally if he is honest and you choose to stay.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  He has said both: I'm his Gf and then he's not ready for commitment. So at the end of the day, he doesn't know what he wants and he's dragging me along. It's not fair. He's called me his Gf before but idk if he felt pressured to cause we were fighting but he said I'm his Gf and I'm someone he wants to be with long term. But there comes times where he doesn't act like we're a couple and that's when I get frustrated. He wants his freedom to act as he pleases to and that's why he doesn't want to get tied down yet he has said I'm his Gf. If I am his Gf then okay but he's so secretive about it I hate it.
  
  But guess what? I'm over it. If he can't do one thing I ask him to do, which is to finally embrace we are an item by showing it on social media, then I'm leaving. I know it sounds like something small or pathetic but if u think about it, it means a lot. Social media like Facebook or instagram puts u in the open and if he is scared to put a pic of us and say "me and my Gf" then goodbye cause that means he doesn't want anyone to know bout me cause he wants his freedom.
  
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RaptorOfDeath

9 years ago

I act indifferent sometimes, sometimes I act happy or sad or angry, I think he was probably just unsure as to what to do, are you guys the first for eachother or are you his first girlfriend?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yeah knowing him he really doesn't know where he stands and what he wants and I try to talk to let him figure it out. I want to help him and to discover what he wants but he won't help me help him. We're not our firsts and I'm not his first gf but he has mentioned his past gfs have also confronted him about his lack of communication and effort and he just argues that that is who he is and he can't change it. So i try to accept it because I love him but in certain cases like what I said on the post, its hard to accept it. You want him to show his love for you in public but because he doesn't do that as "a part of his personality" I just have to deal with it and confront him all over again about why he was acting so indifferent with me. He just lacks body language and expressing himself. Its the same convo over and over again
  
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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

K.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to look crazy in front of the person you really like?